The 51 Dwarrowdams of Erebor
by the BugSlayer
Summary: The title says it all. A story where no one is completely what they seem. After BOFA. Line of Durin all live. (Kili x OC)Hopefully... (various other pairings)
1. Ch1: Books, fights, and impeccable tming

**Legend:** Dwarves just spring out of holes in the ground.

**_Truth:_** Dwarves are born from a mother just like anyone else.

**Legend:** There are no female dwarves.

**_Truth:_** There are female dwarves, who also have beards.

**Legend:** Dwarves are very protective of their women.

**_Truth:_** Dw-…. Not actually, that one is true.

**Legend:** Female dwarves are rare.

**_Truth:_** …that is also true.

**Legend:** There is only one dwarrowdam to every two dwarves.

**_Truth:_** The ratio is much, much smaller.

**Legend:** Though dwarrowdams are rare, Erebor is a large kingdom and has many female dwarves.

**_Truth:_** There are not many female dwarves in Erebor. There are actually very few. Actually, there are only 50.

50 dwarrowdams in the _entire_ mountain.

.

_The BugSlaying Brigade Presents…_

**The **50**_ 51_**** Dwarrowdams of Erebor**

.

The dust-encased tome fell on the table with a thud, sending a small cloud of powder wafting into the still, hushed air of the library. Nora could not help but cough, waving a hand in front of her face to clear the air. Her large purple sleeve flopped on the end, once golden details glinting softly in the firelight. Huffing, the dwarrowdam pushed up her sleeves, and once her hand had been found again, she sat in front of the large tome and opened in, thin worn pages sliding from her fingertips as a random page was turned to. The ancient khuzdul runes were scrawled tightly across the page.

"What do you see in those things?" Nora smirked slightly as the familiar voice of her friend gently broke the silence of the endless archive. Ciri sat in a low, comfortable seat by one of the many crackling hearths in the library. Nora looked up briefly, brushing one of many black strands of hair out of her eyes.

"Words mostly." She chuckled. "Sometimes a picture or two."

"You're impossible." Ciri rolled her eyes, turning back to the stitching that lay in her lap.

"If you mean to ask what I like about them, then let me get back to you on that." Nora looked back down, turning the page gently as the rustle of dry pages drifted into her ears.

"Why? Can't think of anything?" Ciri smirked, her dark skin crinkling as she smiled. Nora glanced back up at her friend. The dwarrowdam's chestnut hair paired with her dark skin made Ciri rather unique. As if being a dwarrowdam wasn't unique enough.

"No, but I need time to compile a list." Nora replied happily. "Books are incredible. I could probably write a whole book _on_ how remarkable books are."

"Knowing you, I wouldn't doubt it." Ciri rolled her eyes. Laughter twinkled in Nora's own green eyes before they flitted once more to the page in front of her.

"Oh save me from this willful beard!" she muttered under her breath, pushing the black poof of braids and hair off of the page and back to her chest.

"Poor wee lass!" Ciri chided playfully. "Defeated by her own beard!"

"Don't be sore. It isn't my fault you can't grow one." Nora turned another page. The passage she was looking for was around here somewhere.

"Excuse me?" The other raised an eyebrow. "What to you call these beauties?" Nora glance up again to see her friend stroking the smooth, brushed hair pulled around to the back of her head.

"Those are sideburns. Not a beard."

"Well it's close enough!" Ciri huffed angrily, letting out a curse as she poked herself accidently with her needle.

"Hush down a bit. We _are_ in a library." Nora reminded her friend.

"GIVE THAT BACK YOU SNOT BRAINED TROLL!"

"Wonderful." Nora rolled her eyes as Ciri started up to see what the commotion was about.

"WHY? IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO BE _READING_ IT!"

"Oh nevermind," Ciri sighed, plopping back down in her seat. "It's just the squads at it again." Nora rolled her eyes. The two squads. There were only fifty dwarrowdams in the entire mountain. And only nineteen of them were of age, and unmarried. And seven of those nineteen were constantly at the throats of each other and everyone else in the mountain.

"WHAT WOULD _YOU_ KNOW ABOUT READING? YOU CAN'T EVEN DRESS YOURSELF IN THE MORNINGS WITHOUT HELP!"

"I CAN. BUT I, UNLIKE _SOME_, DON'T HAVE TO!"

"Just shut up already!" Nora hissed under her breath as the thunderously loud voices stomped closer.

"WELL AT LEAST I DIDN'T END UP FAT AND LAZY LIKE YOU!"

"SAYS YOU!" shadows danced over the page as Nora tried to read. She looked up to see who was blocking the firelight. It was Faina, leader of the prissy noble squad. Her perfected golden ringlets and braids tossed haughtily as she looked behind her, one hand raised in the air holding a slightly smaller tome above her head.

"SAYS EVERYBODY! THEY JUST WON'T SAY IT TOO YOUR FACE!" And there was the other one. Brilliant, fiery hair streaming behind her in a long braid, the Leader of the no good beggar squad stomped after the other. Teella Broadshoulder. Middle daughter of one of the largest families in Erebor. Also one of the poorest. Nora could not even begin to contemplate how all those children were fed. There were around twenty of them, only three being girls. Most of them just fended for themselves for the most part. Nora was incredibly grateful that Ciri's family had agreed to house her since she and her father had stopped talking. Since her mother…

"YOU DON'T EVEN _WANT_ TO KNOW WHAT PEOPLE SAY BEHIND _YOUR_ BACK!" Faina screamed, the rest of the two squads rushed over, waiting anxiously for a fight to break out.

"DO YOUR WORST!" Teella matched her in volume. Nora pinched her temple, trying hard to fight her bubbling temper.

"YOU ASKED FOR IT YOU-"

"Stop. Now."

The library fell into silence again as an old whited haired dwarf thumped unhappily to stand in between the two squads of dwarrowdams.

"This," he looked at the two leaders. "Is a library. It is a place for learning and silence. Not for bullying," he looked at Faina, "or name-calling," he looked at Teella, "or any other type of arguing or noise. You are young ladies, and expect you to act as such. At all times. Which means you respect others, without being rude, or selfish, or vulgar. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, Master Balin." The dwarrowdams answered together, heads hanging low.

"Good." He huffed. "I trust I will not have to talk to you about this again?"

"No, Master Balin." Came the reply.

"Excellent. Now on your way." The two squads filed out of the library in silence, though Nora knew it wouldn't last long. They were already throwing death glares at each other. "You too young ladies." Nora and Ciri looked up in surprise.

"But we weren't-" Balin fixed Ciri with a stern glare and she shut her mouth. Nora let out a sigh and stood, closing the book before her quietly.

"Come on Ciri, I'm not in the mood to study after that anyway." Her friend nodded and they both left the library in silence. As soon as the large library doors closed shut behind them, Ciri stomped the ground with one booted foot.

"That is _so_ unfair!" she griped. "We didn't do anything! Just because we're girls doesn't mean we had something to do with that! Badgered old coot!" Nora agreed silently. The library was the only public place she could go without being ogled at the entire time. Why did she have to be a dwarrowdam?

She sighed and strode down the hall with no particular destination in mind, Ciri following after slowly. Their thudding boots echoed slightly off the stone walls, bouncing off in a comforting way. It reminded Nora that the mountain was always there, always surrounding her and protecting her. The echo was much nicer than it had been at the Blue Mountains where she had been born. She wished her mother had gotten to hear it again.

"Norarduwynn Firehide!" Nora froze in place. Hadn't lasted long at all. She turned to see Faina striding towards her and Ciri. Her three noble lackeys were following behind her smugly. Nora knew they had names. She knew they all had families and hopes and dreams, but when they were with Faina, they were just lackeys. Nothing more, nothing less. Void of all personal thought or guidance. And that was always dangerous.

"Faina." Nora said back, feeling Ciri tug even so slightly on her large purple sleeve. "Something I can help you with?"

"Yeah, you can tell me what stone giant sat on your face!" she snorted, waiting for a reaction. It didn't come.

"If that's all, I'll be going." Faina's smirk dropped away.

"You'll go when I say you can!" she hissed.

"I'll go whenever I want to." Nora replied, trying to keep her voice even. "And you have no right to stop me."

"We're really running late." Ciri cut in. "Please Faina, not today." Faina narrowed her eyes at the dark skinned girl.

"Late for what? You and this little scrap? What could you possibly do that would be important?"

"My coming of age will be in less than three months Faina." Nora gritted her teeth together. "Or do you not know how to count?"

"Yeah, in three months." The older girl rolled her eyes, leaning forward. "But right now you're still. a. kid." She sang tauntingly. Ciri kept Nora's tense arm firmly to her side. It was itching to punch the annoying idiot right in the face.

"What's going on here?" Everyone looked over to see another dwarrowdam walk out of a side passage. The library was unusually busy today.

"Oh look, her highness has decided to show her face!" Faina cried in amazement. The newest girl unconsciously tugged her curly black hair further down from her loose ponytail, attempting to hide the white scar running across the right side of her face.

"What's going on here Faina." The girl asked again. "Giving somebody unwanted trouble again?"

"What? Am I not allowed to _talk_ to anyone?" Faina rolled her eyes. "Just because you've got the royal house wrapped around your finger doesn't mean you can control me, princess."

"Do _not_ call me that." The girl hissed. "I am _not_ a princess."

"Oh, forgive me, _Lady Aría_!" Faina gave a mock bow. "I forgot. You _aren't _actually married to Prince Kili yet."

"Stop spewing nonsense Faina."

"I'll stop, when you stop clinging to those princes like an elf to trees! And since we all know _that'll_ never happen!" the three lackeys chortled. Nora grimaced. This wasn't her problem anymore. She left after Ciri down the hall again. But she could still hear their voices echo around the hallway. "Speaking of royalty, when _are_ the princes coming back? It's been far too long."

"Like I would tell you." Aría snapped back. "If you want someone to bat your lashes at, there are plenty of dwarves in this mountain. Find someone that's not out of your league." And by then, it was too far away for Nora to hear the bickering Dwarrowdams.

The two friends walked down the long stone hall until it opened up into one of the many large path filled caverns. The maze of stairs and bridges crisscrossed, disappearing into the depths of the mountain. Dwarves of all ages and occupations traveled at one place or another, their voices echoing through the stone. And in the distance, one could hear the sound of thousands of hammers striking stone and metal. The mines and forges banging away dutifully beneath the mountain. The peaceful din barely disturbed as the poor squad dashed down one of the paths, knocking into a pair of elderly dwarves. The leader, Teella, let out a small cackle as she held up the stolen bag triumphantly before the three miscreants disappeared down one of the many staircases, a flaming red braid disappearing with them.

Further down from the library on the other side of the noble and royal courts, deeper in the mountain, the clash of metal upon metal sounded through another large open cavern.

"Good! Good now come at me again!" The trembling little dwarf lad picked up his iron sword again and charged at his partner. A large heavy battle-axe came swinging down behind him, sending the sword flying out of his hands. "Too predictable. Try to change things up once in awhile laddie!" The gruff voice suggested, hefting the large axe on one shoulder before peering down from a bushy ginger mane, covered in braids and beads.

"Sorry Miss Alphonse." The young lad drooped walking wearily to pick up his weapon once again from the sandy floor of the training hall.

"Nay lad. That's enough for today. Go scrub yourself off." The dwarf did not need to be told twice. Alphonse chuckled to her self quietly before she walked over to the bench and grabbed a cloth and wiped the slight sheen of sweat off her forehead.

"Good fighting today." Alphonse turned to see Dwalin walking up to her, the king not far behind. "As always." The she dwarf nodded in thanks.

"Just taking over lessons for my cousin while he's out." The big bearded dwarrowdam nodded.

"I'm sure Gimli appreciates it." King Thorin agreed, having to look up slightly to talk to the Dwarrowdam. The king still found it hard to believe that a Dwarrowdam Fili's age could be as tall, and muscular, as Dwalin.

"I'm sure he does my lord." Alphonse agreed, grinning from beneath her bushy ginger beard.

"Dwalin tells me that you are a skilled warrior. We must spar sometime." The King suggested conversationally.

"It would be an honor milord!" the dwarrowdam nodded. "But now I must be off!" she said, hefting the axe onto her shoulder again.

"Leaving so early?" Dwalin raised an eyebrow.

"Aye, been testing out this fine weapon here for my friend." Alphonse glanced at the heavy battle-axe. "Alyssa Ironheart, I'm sure you've heard of the lass."

"Most likely." Dwalin nodded. "Works in the forges?"

"That's the one." Alphonse grinned.

"How's her work?"

"Exceptional. Though this one here seems a little off balance. Probably an easy fix." She contemplated the weapon, weighing it in her hand for a moment before remembering herself and turning back to the dwarf lords. "Well, as I said, I must be off. Good day to you!" the other two bid her farewell and watched the muscular dwarrowdam leave the training hall through one of many doors.

"Quite the lass." Thorin shook his head, chuckling.

"Aye." Dwalin nodded. "One of the best fighters in Erebor."

"Currently. I'm sure Gimli will give provide a good challenge once he gets back. Must be in their blood."

"Since you mention blood," Dwalin turned to the king. "I wanted to discuss the five you sent out for the envoy."

"What about them?" Thorin growled.

"Fili _and_ Kili? You're just asking for trouble Thorin." The king gave his friend a harsh glare. "And not under the best of supervision either. Bofur and Nori? You couldn't spare _anyone_ else?"

"No… I couldn't. But Gloin's son will keep them all in line." Dwalin could only shoot a disbelieving glance at the king. "Besides, Fili and Kili deserve a break for once. I've been working them to death the past few months and Dis finally took notice."

"Gave you a stern talking to no doubt." Dwalin chuckled. Thorin just let out a weary sigh. "Well, I guess they do deserve a break every now and then. They can't mess up too much in week, can they?"

...

"It's nice to get out again!" Fili sighed contentedly as he dropped into the tall wooden chair.

"Kili, be a lad and get the drinks, will you?" Bofur said as he and Nori took the seats opposite. The dark haired nodded dragging Gimli with him to the crowded bar. The tavern was dark and noisy, and the air reeked. But the dwarves could care less at the moment. They just needed some place to relax.

"The envoy made good time." Nori remarked glancing around discreetly. "Got to Edoras a few days ahead of schedule. But between you and me, I'm not too keen on these horse folk."

"Oh, they aren't too bad." Bofur shrugged, smiling calmly. "Just a bit equine."

"Well, I was thinking," Fili started, trying hard to mask his eagerness. "Since we got here so quickly, why don't we spend some time here? They won't be expecting us back for over a week still."

"I don't know bout that." Bofur frowned. "Thorin told us to return quickly."

"He doesn't have to know." Fili shrugged.

"Sounds good to me." Nori agreed quickly. Bofur still seemed hesitant when Kili and Gimli made their way back over laden with five wooden mugs, which Kili slid easily across the table.

"You all won't _believe_ what we heard!" Kili beamed, his eye open wide with excitement.

"Tis nothin' special." Gimli groused, plopping down heavily in his own seat.

"Well, what is it?" Nori asked impatiently. Kili bounced ever so slightly making Fili smile. His little brother may try mightily to act all grown up and sophisticated, but at heart he was very much the same young lad Fili had grown up beside.

"There's a group of travelling performers in Edoras." Kili grinned broadly. "Performers! They're setting up outside town today and it's open to the public tomorrow."

"Admittance is free." Gimli couldn't help but add.

"Well that is somethin' special." Bofur nodded. "Oh all right," he relented at last. "We'll stay one day more for the event _then_ we're heading home."

"Aye!" Fili smiled with relief. "That sounds fair."

"To impeccable timing!" Kili grinned, raising his mug in a toast.

"To impeccable timing!" the others echoed, mirroring the young prince's actions. And they drained the mugs dry.

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><p><strong>Welcome the the end of the first chapter of "The 51 Dwarrowdams of Erebor". This chapter was more setting the stage, but I hope enough happened in it to be interesting. <strong>

**Special Thanks to: Luckygirl1013, Dragon flam, Optimistic Pessimist that I am, SakuraDragomir, and Brooke Witwicky-TransformerFan. They all made a character for this story and it would have never happened without them! I apologize if your character didn't make it into the first chapter. Though, I fear I introduced too many characters to quickly already! **

**Disclaimer: This entire story is not mine. It is based off the brilliant ideas of Sir J.R.R. Tolkien, Peter Jackson, Those who worked it the films and the actors, and the aforementioned aspiring writers. I hold no rights or anything to it. Even the words are not my control, my fingers just type it. But you knew all of that already.**

**Please, please review. You have no idea how much they mean to me. The good and the bad.  
><strong>

**Next chapter we'll get to meet Dwarrowdam #51! Fun fun!**


	2. Ch2: The Bearded Lady

**Wow! thank you all for the reviews and favorites and follows! It gives me strength that this story isn't horrible! Which is always good...**

**This chapter, is not in Erebor. At all. I apologize for those with characters, they will be in the next chapter. This chapter is to meet the protagonist(though there's really several)... it's a bit confusing. Anyway...**

**Time for the traveling performers! Enjoy!**

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><p>"Oh come on, <em>I<em> could sing better than that!" Bofur commented in disgust as the colorful clothed singer continued to belt out the words on the small little stage.

"At least he's not tripping around and calling it dancing." Gimli grumbled. Fili just smirked. Who would've thought tough little Gimli would be interested in dancing?

"We've seen everything exciting, can't we just go?" Nori sighed.

"By everything exciting, you mean that cheap conjurer." Fili corrected.

"Clearly."

"Well, no point sticking around." Bofur agreed. "What do you think lads?"

"Aye, I've had enough of this abomination." Gimli muttered.

"Not for even a little longer?" Kili pressed.

"You just want to see those tumblers again." Fili rolled his eyes. His little brother was a sucker for those flashy costumes.

"We're wasting our time here." Nori grumbled.

"Oh alright." Kili frowned.

"Now, ladies and _gentlemen_ especially," the ringmaster called to the crowd. The five dwarves began inching out of their places in the crowd. "Let's give a big round of applause for our blooming lily, the Bearded Lady!" He clapped and moved off of the stage again. The crowd cheered good-naturedly, and the dwarves froze, eyes drawn again to the stage. It was empty. The cheering slowly died down. And it stopped altogether. People looked around in confusion. Had something went wrong?

Then, as sudden as dragon flame, a swirl of ribbons and jingling ornaments came cartwheeling onto the stage, up righted, somersaulted, and did a half back flip twist type thing coming to land on a small square table center stage. Everyone stared in shock as this newest performer finished her entrance. She was dressed entirely in flowing red cloth that hung around a base skintight suit. A helmet like headdress was fitted snuggly over her head, hiding all of her hair. Decorating her costume, was a series of bronze ornaments that glinted brightly under the sunlight. All you could see of _her_ were her tanned hands and feet; her face was painted white with thick brown lines around her eyes, enlarging them unnaturally.

The outfit, on the whole, was not too entirely different from the other costumes seen that day. But she seemed to wear them differently. But more likely, the stunned silence was the fluffy brown sideburns and the bit of beard on her chin. This, coupled with her stocky stature made this performer a rather unusual sight. She was _very_ short, Fili had to admit. Even compared to dwarves. She was even shorter than Bilbo.

Slowly, she stood, reveling in the crowd's stunned silence. Once she reached her full height, her chin raised proudly to stare straight in front of her.

"Good Afternoon Lords and Ladies!" She greeted loudly. Her voice was powerful, with undertones that seemed to resonate with the stone. "After watching these fanciful performers with their elegant dancing and tear bringing voices, you probably all have just one thing on your mind." Gimli rolled his eyes. "When do we get to go home?" there was a moment of silence before the entire audience burst out laughing. Bofur slapped his knee in glee.

"At last, someone who understands!" he elbowed Fili happily. The young woman on stage grinned broadly.

"Well, don't worry. There's only three more acts after mine and then you can all be free again!" the crowd laughed again. "_My_ act often varies in length. It depends on how many brave men there are in the crowd today!" Several men cheered loudly, as if to prove they were brave. When these quieted, the Bearded Lady spoke again. "Or… _think_ they're brave anyway." She winked at Kili, making the dwarven lad blink in surprise. The women, in the meantime, laughed at this slam against all these _brave_ men in the crowds.

"What do you mean by that?" someone shouted angrily from the crowd.

"Ah, let me explain myself further." She rocked back on her bare heels. "You see, my talents are more than merely being bearded my good folk. I am _also_ the strongest person here!" She smirked at the confused faces for a moment before turning around and hoping off the table. She turned back to audience once she was on the stage floor, a look of innocence on her face. "Don't believe me? Try your luck!" Two dancers hurried on stage and set down a chair on either side of the table. The Bearded Lady sat down heavily in the one to her right. "It's only a copper per try! And if you win, you get _ten_ silver back."

"A bit cocky, ain't she?" Gimli whispered to the others.

"Naw." Nori shook his head. "She's gotta have a fail safe. Ten silver is far too much."

"So which of you _brave_ men is ready to be beaten first!" She called to the crowd who were all murmuring amongst each other.

"Why don't you have a go?" Fili whispered to Gimli. The dwarf just shook his head.

"Not a chance."

"Doesn't she look like… a dwarf?" Kili commented aimlessly.

"There'd never be a dwarrowdam travelling as a performer." Bofur scoffed.

"But look how short she is!" Kili persisted. "_and_ bearded." All five turned to look at the stage in confusion. It couldn't be… could it?

"Here!" someone shouted. A large, burly man standing about five or six heads taller than the woman stepped onto the stage. He was fit, with his sleeves rolled up to show muscly forearms. "I'll put this wench in her place." He growled. The five dwarves tensed. If she really _was_ a dwarrowdam, then they had it in mind to teach that overgrown oaf some respect.

"The best of luck to you sir!" the woman laughed heartily. "Many have tried before you and many will try after you." She grinned at him, extending an open hand. The man growled back, slammed one copper on the table and plopped down on the other chair, grasping the extended hand firmly with his own. Both of their elbows were propped on the table. One of the dancers pranced on stage to call start. Everyone waited with baited breath as the dancer put one hand a few inches over the interlocked hands.

"Ready?" she asked. Both contenders said nothing. "FIGHT!" the hands didn't move. But the large man grunted angrily, the veins in his neck popping as the hands trembled with force.

"Bless my beard!" Bofur gawked. "It's actually an even fight!"

"No…" Kili squinted. "She's not even trying."

THUNK! The man's hand was slammed onto the table, rattling the wood as the crowd erupted into cheers. The man stood angrily and stomped off the stage as the Bearded Lady rose and gave an appreciative bow before rising and wiping her forehead. Kili raised an eyebrow. She was putting on a show. She hadn't even broken a sweat. So why was she acting like she had?

"Now, who else is ready to get their tails handed to them?" She grinned to the appreciative cheers of the crowd.

"I'll take her!" someone shouted. And the procedure was repeated. And, of course, the outcome was the same. Two others met the same fate. All walked off in a mix of anger and shame.

"Who's next?"

"I'll go!" Bofur shrugged, making his way through the crowd. The dwarves exchanged glances. So much for leaving early. Bofur and the Bearded Lady both took their seats and clasped hands.

"Well," she raised her eyebrows upon smelling the reek of liquor on his breath. "Seems as though someone has been too deep in his cups." The crowd laughed good-naturedly, Bofur joining them before saying something in reply that was lost to the crowd. The four dwarves in the audience exchanged glances.

"Ready?" the dancer asked. "FIGHT!" THUNK! Kili's eyes widened in surprise. Not because Bofur had lost, he'd expected that, but it was over so quickly. The Bearded Lady hadn't even bothered to put on a show about it.

"Ah well." Bofur shook his head. "I guess I'm more out of shape than I thought!" He nodded to her before standing and making his way back through the crowd to the others.

"Any other's wishing to try their luck?" The Bearded Lady stood quickly. Her smile seemed rushed. "No? Pity. Very well then, it's been a _pleasure_. Let's give a big round of applause now, for the Dancing Duo!" And she quickly excited the stage as two brightly colored tumblers twirled on stage.

"What did you do?" Kili asked Bofur accusingly as the dwarf rejoined them.

"Got an answer." Bofur shrugged, catching the attention of the other three. "Come on, let's talk somewhere else." The five pushed their way out of the crowd and went a bit farther before coming to stand a good distance away.

"Well? What's it all about?" Fili demanded.

"The lass is a dwarrowdam alright." Bofur nodded.

"And just _how_ did you find that out?" Kili asked. "You said something to her, what? It obviously bothered her."

"I just asked which clan she's from." Bofur shrugged.

"How does that determine anything?" Nori asked.

"If she _wasn't_ a dwarf, why would she get so bothered?" Bofur pointed out. The five looked at each other.

"So what do we do about it?" Gimli voiced the question on everyone's mind.

"Well we can't leave her traveling with these performers, that's for sure." Bofur sighed.

"Then we should take her back to Erebor with us." Kili suggested.

"That seems to be the only option." Fili nodded, wondering a little at his brother's enthusiasm.

"Shall we go find the lass and talk to her then?" Bofur proposed.

"I think we'd better…" Fili sighed. "But we should go about this carefully, her reaction to Bofur's comment doesn't bode well." The others nodded in agreement and they all headed off around to the maze of wagons behind the stage.

And a maze it was. A maze full of people dressed head to toe in colorful clothing and bangles and masks.

"How are we supposed to find _anyone_ in this?" Gimli growled.

"Just listen for her." Kili said. "She has a distinctive voice." Fili shot him a confused glance before turning his attentions once again to the task at hand. But Kili didn't pay it any mind. His elder brother seemed to have a habit of looking at him like he was crazy. Then the young archer heard it.

"I won't be out long Borl! Set your worries by the fire already!" That was the voice of the Bearded Lady, he was sure of it. The others seemed to hear it too, which wasn't surprising, as presently, Bofur ran straight into the owner of the voice, both stumbling back in surprise.

At first, Kili wasn't sure it was actually the same person. But unless there were two three foot tall women running around, it seemed it had to be. Without the elaborate costume and extensive face paint, however, the lass seemed quite plain. Her sideburns and beard were now matched by head of matted dull brown hair that looked to be as coarse as that of a pony. Her skin was as tan as her hands and her feet, which were still bare. She had dull hazel eyes that were most unremarkable without the brown paint lines around them. And her colorful outfit had been exchanged with a ratty tunic and trousers that stopped just past her knees. And over all of it was a worn, tattered coat that looked like it was barely staying together. The only interesting thing about her was the tiny cream-colored monkey hanging on her shoulder, which was protesting loudly at Bofur for obstructing his ride. Fili only knew it was a monkey from some of the old archives he had been forced to read when he was younger.

"Ah, Miss Bearded Lady!" Bofur smiled friendly. The woman's eyes widened in shock and she quickly stepped back.

"Sorry good sirs, I'm afraid there's no refunds available." She put on a fake smile before turning to leave.

"That wasn't what we wanted!" Kili called after her. She froze and glanced over her shoulder.

"Any concerns can be taken up with the Ring Master. Thank you for coming! Good day!" and she took off again. The five exchanged glances. They were all thinking the same thing. _What do we do now?_ However, before they could decide, the fleeing dwarrowdam ran into someone else. Kili couldn't help but notice that the lass didn't seem to pay attention to where they were walking. The little cream-colored monkey screamed again in agitation.

The dwarves quickly recognized this newest arrival as the first contestant from earlier. The towering man scowled down at the short woman. She took a step back and glared back.

"Something I can help you with sir? I'm afraid there's no refunds avai-"

"Shut up!" the man snapped. All the dwarves tensed visibly. But she fell silent. The man took a step closer. "You cheated. I wanna know how." She just shrugged. "TELL ME!" he yelled, face turning red in rage. After another moment, the Bearded Lady nodded and motioned for the man to follow. The five dwarves exchanged glances before following quietly. The woman seemed to be leaving the maze of wagons and carts. At some point she grabbed a decorated arrow from a barrel, twirling it absentmindedly as she walked.

"Where are you leading me?" the man growled. She just shrugged in reply. She was sorely trying the man's patience. At last they stopped a few feet away from the mass of wagons in dirt filled clearing that had been trampled down by years of use. And, deftly, the woman began writing something in the dirt with the point of the arrow she had picked up. The tiny monkey clambered over her shoulders as she moved around the open space, dragging the arrow point in the sand. At last she finished and looked up expectantly at the man. The dwarves inched as close as they dared to see what she had created. They were words, Kili realized. Written in a common tongue.

_You told me to shut up_.

That was all it said. Kili had to choose between laughing out loud and marveling at the woman's stupidity. As a small smirk came to her lips, he decided to go with marveling at her stupidity while trying very hard _not_ to laugh out loud.

The man, however, was not amused. Not in the slightest.

"You messing with me?" he hissed dangerously.

"Oh, does that mean I can talk again?" the lass smirked wider.

"Getting snippy now are we?" the man snorted. "I'll teach you to speak out of place!" He raised one hand threateningly. But before Kili or any of the others could rush forward to intervene, the little cream-colored monkey leapt at the man, grabbing at his eyes. The man stumbled back in alarm, trying to pull the thing off his face. In the moment of confusion, the woman twirled around the arrow and brought it down forcefully in the man's foot. He let out a cry of pain and continued to run around, the arrow still sticking out of his foot.

"What is going on over here!" someone yelled. All heads turned to see the ringmaster and several other performers, as well as some of the audience hurrying over. Obviously the show was done. The little monkey quickly scampered off the howling man and hid quickly under the brown mat of hair. The man recovered briefly and yanked the arrow out of his foot with a cry of pain.

"This whore attacked me!" He hollered, holding up the arrow as proof. The ringmaster turned to glare at the woman as the rest of the crowd murmured in shock.

"What can you say for yourself?" the head performer asked angrily. The Bearded Lady stared back coolly for a moment before shrugging. The crowd gasped in horror. "So you admit to attacking this man?"

"I _did_ attack him." She replied. "Unless he stuck that arrow in his own foot."

"No, this has all been a misunderstanding!" Someone called out suddenly. All heads turned to stare at Bofur. "You see, I saw it all, she was just defending herself!"

"Is this true?" The ringmaster turned back to the lass again.

"S'pose it is. The man said so himself." She replied back with a bored expression on her face.

"Well why didn't you _say_ so lass?" someone demanded.

"Would you have believed me if I did?" she snapped back. The crowd fell silent. "Didn't think so."

"You know what this means…" the Ringmaster sighed.

"I s'pose I do." She replied.

"You attacked one of the audience…" He continued.

"I s'pose I did."

"We'll give a moment to gather your things." He said at last. The woman nodded before walking quietly but confidently through the crowd, which parted for her quickly.

"Where'll she go?" a woman covered in feathers asked once the 'she' in question was out of sight.

"Not my problem." The ringmaster replied. "Just as long as she's not tarnishing my name." A few moments later, the Bearded Lady returned. She was exactly like she was before, except she had a ratty, mostly empty pack slung over her shoulder and the cream-colored monkey was hanging to her leg instead of perched on her shoulder.

"Alright, I'm cleared out." She sighed. "Enjoy your peace."

"Wherever your headed, make sure it's far away from here." The Ringmaster warned her before turning away.

"Oi!" The Bearded Lady raised her voice to the crowd. "Anyone from out of town willing to take in a crazy woman?" The dwarves glanced at each other. Kili heaved a small sigh.

"Here's to impeccable timing."

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><p><strong>XD So, what did you think of that? Please review and let me know!<strong>

**Next chapter will be back in Erebor! Yayyyyy!**

**Also, feel free to tell people about this if you like! I'm not very good at advertising myself... So if you're bored... ^-^ **

**Should update next week!**


	3. Ch3: Everyday Life under the Mountain

**Wow! O.o thank you all so much for the reviews and support! It's amazing! Seriously, it's ridiculous! So, here's chapter 3! I hope you enjoy it!**

**Oh, and for those asking for more of Aría, she'll be in the next chapter! Not to worry! **

**I hope you enjoy this chapter!(possibly, maybe, enough to review? *bats eyes hopefully*) Enjoy!**

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><p>Teella was bored.<p>

And when Teella was bored, bad things followed. Though, in her defense, it was always buckets of fun for her and her pals. Though Teella preferred to refer to them as minions.

"So, what are we going to do now?" Upa sighed, sprawled out on the cold stone floor. Teella didn't even glance at the dwarf who had spoken to her. Upa was a simple mind. She was also poor. Which was the only reason Teella even put up with her. She pitied them. _Pitied_. She didn't enjoy their company or anything like that. It was a chore, having to come up with things to entertain these bored, lost souls.

"I'm thinking." Teella snapped at the other girl.

"Well think faster." Jade, the last of the trio huffed. "I'll become part of the mountain if I wait for too much longer." Teella shot a glare at Jade. The pretty girl had straight brown hair, and a beautiful braided beard. Teella absentmindedly scratched her own red stubble. Stupid, bearded, bossy… Teella let out a slow breath, trying to calm herself. She couldn't be so brash with Jade. The brown haired she dwarf was more independent than Upa was and made it a habit of walking off when she didn't like the way Teella was treating her.

_She doesn't understand_. Teella thought bitterly. _She isn't smart like I am. There's a reason I'm the leader. Because I have brains._ Teella glanced down at Upa who was trying to pull off her boot for some reason._ Unlike some people_.

"So what _are_ we going to do then?" Jade demanded.

"Maybe if _someone_ didn't keep interrupting me, I could think for a second!" Teella growled back. _Watch your temper._ She reminded herself. Jade was essential to most plans. She could get practically anything she wanted. From the young dwarf men anyway. All you needed was a busty body, a full beard, and a ready smile. Jade knew how to work her charms when she wanted to. She just didn't want to often. Teella would have to _convince_ her to do so. Such a chore.

"Hey, is that Mariana down there?" Upa said, peeking over the gape in the railing at the maze of pathways below. Teella nonchalantly glanced over the railing. It was, in fact, Mariana. The Bookworm. Even more so than that dork Nora.

"Perfect." Teella purred. Mariana was the perfect target for her latest scheme. Teella glanced smugly at Jade. "Got a plan." She smirked. "Come on you louses." Jade rolled her eyes as she and Upa clambered from their seats to follow the bright red braid down one of the small, rarely used stairways. This would definitely be trouble. Perfect.

...

"This is ridiculous." Ciri moaned, shielding her face with one free hand from another group of staring dwarves. Nora was inclined to agree as she buried her nose deeper into the book, keeping herself from having to face the ogling males. According to reliable sources, many dwarves found her thick beard ridiculously attractive, like hers. What they did _not_ find attractive was her constant obsession with her studies. Nora pushed the book further towards her face, making it impossible to read the runes. As long as it would keep the dwarves from _accidentally_ bumping into her as they passed. That was what Ciri was dealing with at the moment.

"Why did your mother send _us_ to the market again?" Nora asked her friend in annoyance.

"Because 'Dinner isn't going to cook itself, Ladies'." Ciri replied in her best impression of her mother. Nora chortled in a most unladylike manner before recovering and peaking at Ciri out of the corner of her eye.

"But why send _us_? She knows what it's like having to go shopping. It's a spectacle! And she's even _married_. _We_ are not." Nora made a face.

"_You_ don't have to worry about it." Ciri reminded her friend. "You still have two and a half months of bliss."

"Don't remind me." Nora rolled her eyes. "But really, why not send one of your brothers? They'd have a much easier time of it."

"Their still working in the forges." Ciri explained tiredly. "Besides, do you even remember the last time they went shopping?"

"No, not really." Nora admitted.

"They thought the pears were onions and purchased dog food instead of mutton."

"Oh! Right, that time…" Nora winced at the memory. "But Klos sure appreciated it." She glanced down at the large dog trotting happily by her side. Nora had raised the thing since it was a pup, and he followed her everywhere he could. Though she left him home from the library. He was a tad too noisy. Though for some reason Faina and Teella were still allowed in. It made no sense as all.

"I'm sure he did, the big glutton." Ciri rolled her eyes as Klos panted happily.

"Ciri!" a gruff voice called out. The two dwarrowdams continued walking, both with a sudden feeling of dread. A large hand clapped down on both of their shoulders. "Funny to see you here lass!" An even larger man laughed, grinning down at them. Nora tried to squirm her arm out of the dwarf's grip, but he held on fast, seemingly oblivious to the girls' discomfort.

"Duham…" Ciri gritted her teeth, turning to look at the dwarf lad. Her lips pressed into a thin line of agitation. "Something I can help you with?"

"Actually, yes." Duham grinned, releasing their shoulders. "I was meaning to talk to you." He looked at her expectantly.

"Then talk." Ciri snapped.

"…Alone." Duham gave Nora a pointed look. The black haired dwarrowdam looked at Ciri for permission. Ciri stared wide-eyed at her friend. '_Don't you dare_' she mouthed.

"Well…" Nora started, looking in between her friend and the anxious dwarf lad. "I'll… take care of the shopping then… You can catch up when you're done." Ciri gave her a murderous look. Nora winced. "So… see you later!" and she quickly made her exit. Nora hurried quickly through the large hall lined with stone shop fronts that poured golden lights into the walkway. A few smaller stalls with tents and tables sat in the spaces against the walls with dwarves crowding around or just walking aimlessly to somewhere else.

And everywhere, eyes followed her. Nora hurried to the butchers as quickly as she could without running.

"Norarduwyn, it's been awhile!" Nora stopped inches away from the butchers shop and turned to see a Dwarrowdam walking toward her quickly.

"Hayden Halliwell." Nora smiled. "Haven't seen you in ages. Your sister on the other hand…"

"Ah… Jade…" Hayden frowned. "Sorry about my little sister. I've been so busy lately… it's hard to keep an eye on her _and_ find a way to feed ourselves." Nora nodded in understanding. Hayden and Jade had only each other now. Their parents had died of illness in Ered Luin. "Speaking of keeping an eye on people," Hayden spoke up again. "You haven't seen May and Fay around, have you? I'm supposed to be watching them, but they slipped off into the crowd."

"Oh, that's not good." Nora commented glancing around for either of the little tykes. May and Fay, the notorious twin dwarrowdams of Erebor. Once they were lost from your sight, you wouldn't find them again until they wanted to be found. Hayden must truly be getting desperate to agree to look after those two. Then again, it wasn't much of a surprise. Most dwarves refused to hire the lass thanks to the trouble her sister caused while following Teella around on their no good schemes.

"Well, they'll show up eventually." Nora shrugged, those twins seemed as sturdy as the mountain and never seemed to get into any _real_ harm. "I'll keep my eye out for them."

"Aye, thanks for that." Hayden nodded.

"Good to see you." Nora bid farewell, turning to the butchers shop before she could be delayed again. Klos rushed past her into the shop before rushing out again with a bone.

"Oi!" someone cried in alarm. Nora ducked as a large knife came flying past her head bouncing off the stone floor harmlessly as Klos tucked into his bone. "Mangy mutt." A dwarf lad growled, wiping his hands on the front of a blood stain apron. It was Hollard, the butchers son and apprentice. "Oh… Nora, what are you doing here?"

"Buying meat." Nora smiled awkwardly, holding up the basket with the rest of the dinner ingredients in it.

"Oh!" the dwarf nodded. "Oh… right! Right, yes… yes of course, the usual?"

"That would be great." Nora responded as Hollard disappeared again into the next room. The smell of meat and blood was strong in the shop. Nora much preferred the smell of books.

"Sorry about Klos!" Nora called into the back. "He doesn't have any manners."

"So just like the rest of the mountain, right?" Hollard joked back from the other room. Nora laughed merrily before quieting again at the sound of a knife thunked in the other room. She liked meat, it was tasty and all, but the butchers shop was never one of her favorite places to go. Why did Hollard have to work _here_?

"Here you are then." The dwarf said, coming back with a wrapped cut of pork.

"And here you are." Nora smiled back, dropping a few coins on the counter.

"Pleasure doing business with you." Hollard bowed all fancy like. Nora laughed and punched him on the shoulder. Hollard straightened up, laughing. "See you around."

"Aye." Nora nodded tucking the parcel into her basket before turning to head out. She stopped just before the doorway, turned back to Hollard with her mouth open and paused. Hollard looked up at her in expectation from pocketing the change. Nora paused a moment before closing her mouth again. "I'll… just see you around then… yeah… sorry…" she winced at her own awkwardness before hurrying out, Klos hurrying after her, a bone in his mouth.

...

"TRAITOR!" the door to Nora's semi-permanent guest room banged open as Ciri stomped in furiously. Nora looked up from the pages in front of her. Her sleeves pooled around her elbows, which rested on the bed. Her feet hung up in the air as she regarded her friend's current state.

"What did I do?" Nora frowned.

"_You_ left me _alone_…" Ciri pointed out the door, indicating the market floors and floors away. "With _Duham_."

"Oh. Right, that." Nora smiled, remembering. "I had wondered where you'd gotten too."

"You _abandoned_ me." Ciri continued, wide-eyed. "I thought you were my _friend_."

"So what did he want?" Nora asked conversationally, turning her eyes back to the runes before her.

"Ugh, I do NOT want to talk about it." Ciri flopped on her back next to Nora, shaking the whole cot. Nora nodded and began reading again. "That dwarf just _can't_ seem to get it into his _thick_ skull that I am NOT interested in him!" Nora sighed quietly. Apparently she _did_ want to talk about it. "I mean, what an idiot! I did everything except flat out tell him to just leave me alone! He's just… just… urghhhhhhhhhhhh…"

"Well why _didn't _you tell him?" Nora asked tiredly.

"That would be rude…" Ciri frowned.

"Since when have _you_ ever cared about being rude?" the black haired dwarrowdam snorted. Ciri punched her friend's shoulder. "I'm serious though," Nora continued, "The only reason you would care was if… you actually _liked_ him."

"You _can't _be serious." Ciri stared blankly. Nora just shrugged. "That's completely ridiculous. Why do I even talk to you about these things?"

"Because you enjoy bothering me and cluttering the air with your voice." Nora muttered under her breath.

"I heard that."

"Good for you!" The two glared at each other for a moment before Ciri rolled off the bed and stormed out of the room. Nora sighed before returning to her reading.

...

They break room, as usual, was full of the stench of sweat and ash. It was the smell of fire. The comforting kind that you would find in a hearth. Not the acrid stench of Dragon Fire. Alyssa loved the smell of the forges. She always had. Ever since she was a wee lass.

"It's your move, my girl." The dwarf across from her said impatiently. His name was Bron, old enough to be her father; he worked at the same forge as Alyssa. The dwarrowdam fixed the dwarf with a stern glare from under bronze colored bangs before returning her gaze back to the wooden pieces on the checkered board in front of her. "Don't make 'em as smart in the Iron Hills apparently." Bron commented to two other dwarves chatting in the break room. Alyssa calmly ignored the insult picking up one of the little chips and placing it down again confidently.

"That's a win for me I think." She concluded. Bron fell silent, staring at the board with distaste.

"Aye… that it would be." He sighed at last. "Another go?"

"I best not." Alyssa said. "I'm expecting an Axe back anytime now. Didn't seem quite right, but I couldn't put my finger on what… I expect it'll need some work still."

"Well, no shame in that." Bron nodded. "I'll reset it then, you can go back to your work."

"No, I'll help." Alyssa replied as she began moving the chips back to their starting positions.

"What game's this then?" She almost jumped out of her chair as the voice sounded from the doorway. Alyssa forced herself to calm down before glancing at the speaker out of the corner of her eye. It was Turin. Young, well-built body, full beard, male. Alyssa tried not to sigh as she suddenly became very aware of every little thing she did. Was she sitting up straight? Too straight? Was she putting the pieces back in a succinct fashion? Was that smudge of ash still on the side of her nose? Mahal, she probably reeked at the moment.

"It's called Fidchell." Bron answered the lad. "Haven't you heard of it before?"

"Heard of it? Aye. Seen it? No." Turin answered coming to stand right next to the small table. Alyssa tried not to stare at the muscly forearm resting just inches away from her. She focused on the game pieces. "How's it played then?"

"Oh, here, sit down and I'll teach you." Bron replied, motioning to Alyssa's stool. The dwarrowdam quickly got up and moved to leave, ignoring the nod of thanks Turin had given her.

"Are you in here?" Another voice asked, entering before Alyssa could leave. Young, well-built body, full beard… female.

"Alphonse." Alyssa nodded to her friend.

"Got the axe here." Alphonse hefted the weapon off her shoulder twirling it around expertly. "A bit on the heavy side I'd say. What metal did you use?"

"Same Iron ore as always." Alyssa frowned taking the axe from her friend.

"Back from the Hall?" Bron smiled at the tall ginger lass. The Hall referring to the training hall, not the hundreds of other halls in the mountain. There was only one Hall, and that was the training hall.

Alphonse beamed back at the old dwarf. "Indeed. And I'll be heading back down there in a bit. Still a good two hours till dinner, aye?"

"Aye." Bron agreed before turning to Turin. "If yer looking for a wife laddie, I'd take a trip to the Iron Hills. They sure know how to raise their woman right!" Turin laughed before casting a nervous glance at the two dwarrowdams in the room. Both had travelled from the Iron Hills with Alphonse's two brothers. Both were a bit too scary for Turin's liking.

"I'll take this back to the forge then. I'll be needing you still, to tell me when it's balanced right." Alyssa spoke.

"Right behind you, lass." Alphonse grinned. The two made their way out of the break room. They then traveled over, under, and through a series of other forges to make their way to the one which Alyssa worked at.

"So, you fancy him then?" Alphonse said, voiced slightly raised over the clanging as the two walked along.

"Who?" Alyssa frowned.

"That lily livered lad back there." Alphonse replied.

"I don't _fancy_ 'em." Alyssa rolled her eyes. "Not everything is about romance you know."

"Oh, _I_ know." Alphonse nodded. The tall dwarrowdam glanced over the side of the walk way as two large hammers came crashing together in the air below them. "But do _you_?"

"What are you suggesting?" Alyssa huffed.

"You know what I'm suggesting." The other rolled her eyes. "I'm just sayin' if someone _is_ your One, you'll know!"

"But what if I feel like every lad I run into is my One?" Alyssa groaned.

"Then someone's wishing too hard." Alphonse propped her elbows on a table as Alyssa plunged into her work upon reaching her forge.

"I'm _not_ wishing too hard." The shorter dwarrowdam rolled her eyes. "I'm just hoping. Nothing wrong with that."

"Aye, as long as you don't end up making a mistake that'll cost you." The sound of hammers filled the silence.

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><p><strong>Well, what did you think of that? Are there too many characters? I'm worried that there are too many to keep track of...<strong>

**Please review! I really value your opinions! And I always get so happy whenever I see another review! Like... so so so so so so so happy! Please review.**


	4. Ch4: Arrivals and Insults

**I apologize for the slow start of this story. There's a lot of stage setting to take care of before the real fun can begin. Let's begin moving things along, shall we?**

**I hope you Enjoy!**

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><p>The deer fur pillow did little to muffle the screams of frustration. Aría, daughter of Falín, cousin of Balin, twice removed, was bothered. To put it mildly.<p>

That was the problem with being nobility. You had to put up with other nobility. Which, in most cases, meant putting up Faina and her lackeys.

"I'm strong." Aría whispered to herself. "I am stronger than them. They cannot hurt me. I am stronger." The dwarrowdam took a deep breath and pushed herself out of her bed to the small vanity in her room. Fili and Kili had made it for her when they were younger, and it was really a bit too smaller for her now, but she refused to replace it. Because, underneath, in the soft pine, was etched three sets of initials and, in khuzdel "Blood bonded". It was a silly little name the three of them had come up with when they were younger. A foolish ritual involving the slicing of fingers and complicated hand shakes.

The two princes were like brothers to Aría, they _were_ brothers in all but law. Her father, Falín, was a close friend of Thorin and Dwalin. And so, she grew up alongside the two heirs of Durin in the Blue Mountains.

They were tight, and she had every intention to go with the pair on the quest to reclaim Erebor. But her father would not allow it after Aría's mother, Náera, disappeared a few years earlier.

Aría plopped down on the stool of the vanity and held up an ornamented hand mirror close to her face. The long white scar that ran down the entire side of her face from her temple to her jaw sat upon her reflection. One last gift from her mother.

The dead skin twinged in familiar tightness as the rest of her face grew healthily around it. She was proud of the scar, truly. It proved that she had, at one time in her life, stood up for something. It reminded her that she was strong. Aría just wished it wasn't so… obvious. Faina liked nothing better than to tease the older dwarrowdam about her slight disfigurement. At least when Fili and Kili were there, they could usually deflect or distract the prissy noble. But they were both escorting the envoy to Edoras.

But they'd be back today. Aría grinned to herself. She set the mirror back down on wood before leaping to her feet and hurrying out of her room. Her father was sitting quietly by the hearth in the living room, working on some documents.

"Headed off to the market?" He asked, looking up briefly at his daughter, sporting her usual brown leggings, and maroon long sleeved shirt.

"Something like that." Aría replied with a smile, slipping on high black boots that looked far too elf-like in Falín's opinion.

"Something like that?" her father repeated.

"I'll see you at dinner!" the dwarrowdam called behind her as she rushed out the empty doorway into the halls outside. Aría hurried through the familiar halls turning towards the throne room instead of the library. The stone labyrinth had been rather confusing at first, but she had grown used to it over the months.

At last, she found herself in the throne room. Thorin and Balin were already there, ready to greet the arrival of the envoy guard and receive their report. It was really much more formal than it needed to be. Everyone knew each other well this time. Aría gave a quick curtsy to the King and his advisor before hurrying off to find a good view in the balconies, hopefully away from Faina and any of her cronies. There would be no doubt those four good for nothings were about somewhere. They were like flies, and the two young princes seemed to be like rotting meat, attracting them like… well, flies.

_This is a good spot_. Aría decided, leaning against the rail comfortably. The other balconies seemed rather full today. Most likely because it was the first time both princes had been out for so long since Erebor had been reclaimed. They certainly had many admirers, either romantically or for their skill.

"The Envoy Guards have returned!" A Herald announced. Everyone watched as the five dwarves began the walk down the long path to kneel before the King. This was all fine and good, until everyone realized that there were, in fact, six. The murmuring, however, was relatively quiet, until this new comer, who was very shabby looking, stayed standing long after the other five had knelt.

The Bearded Lady had found the whole experience very odd. She had travelled many places before, but a dwarven stronghold had not been one of them. The echoes of the stone were fascinating and beautiful. She was looking around in interest at the large carven, wondering how it stayed up, when someone elbowed her in the side. She glared at Kili. The young dwarf, while handsome, had proven himself more than a little annoying in the brief time she had traveled with him. And why did he seem so short? Oh… no, he was just kneeling. Why was he doing that? Oh…

Aría watched as this newcomer and Thorin stared each other down for a long time, until, at last, the Dwarrowdam spoke.

"So who are you supposed to be?" she asked loudly, her voice resonating and disappearing into the open air. The King raised an eyebrow.

"Do you not know who this is?" the Herald rushed up. "This is Thorin! Son of Thrain! Son of Thror! King Under the Mountain!" Thorin motioned that the Herald could now stop. He did so.

"And who might you be?" The King turned to newcomer.

"The name's Nali." She said simply after a moment. Everyone, even the other five from the envoy, stared at her expectantly. The dwarrowdam looked around for a moment. Then, she reached under her hair and dragged out the cream colored monkey that had been hiding underneath the untamed mat of brown mess.

"This is Jue." Jue screamed at her, biting Nali's hand. The woman dropped the little critter who hit the floor and scrambled back up her leg to hide under her hair again. Everyone continued to stare at her, waiting for her to continue. Nali looked around at the many pairs of eyes.

At last, she stuck one foot in the air and splayed her toes, pointing at the gapes in between. "This is the fungus growing in the layers of dirt in between my toes. I call them Gobby." Kili quickly shoved her foot back to the ground, making sure to avoid her feet, as those assembled murmured in disgust and confusion. Aría could only frown. Seemed like a very odd Dwarrowdam they had picked up. And where had they found her anyway? Dwarrowdams didn't go wandering about the wild.

"Are you insulted?" Nali spoke up again, quieting the assembled as she addressed Thorin. "Because I meant no disrespect. But you lot seemed to want names of things so I gave 'em to you. I don't see much difference between you naming your fathers and grandfathers and me naming my toe fungus. They're of the same importance in the end." Bofur seemed to sense the impending doom that seemed to be the result if the lass continued talking much longer, and he sprang to his feet and stepped in front of the Dwarrowdam.

"Apologies." The hatted dwarf winced as the rest of the envoy guards stood and covertly pushed Nali to the back. "The lass often means well. She just goes about saying them in an… unusual manner."

"And why did you bring her back, if I might ask?" Thorin inquired in his deep, gravelly voice.

"Well…"

"She was travelling with a group of travelling performers." Fili jumped in. "But after some trouble with one of the men in the audience, she was banished for protecting herself, so we offered her a place here."

"Thank you for explaining my current predicament in all its details and glory." Nali grumbled, though almost everyone could hear it. "Of course, _I_ couldn't talk for _myself_ or anything." Nori shushed her.

"Very well," Thorin sighed tiredly. "Bofur, I put you in charge of the lass. Make sure we have no more trouble than we have to deal with already." As if on cue, a clamor sounded outside the throne room and a dwarf rushed covered in some type of mush. It looked akin to mashed potatoes.

"My Lord," he spoke, panting mightily. "Those miscreants tampered with the new shipment of potatoes. They're all over the lower halls of the noble's district."

"Of course they have." Thorin pinched the bridge of his nose. After a moment of silence, the King stood from his throne and strode down the side passage, motioning for Bofur to follow. The lighthearted dwarf quickly instructed the princes to look after Nali for a bit before following the King, preparing to give the report for the envoy.

Aría was from the balcony to Fili and Kili in a flash. She didn't care if people gossiped behind her back that she was trying to get the princes' money. It wasn't true and the three of them new it. That was what mattered. Not what malicious rumor Faina was spreading at the time.

Fili beamed broadly at Aría as she approached. Kili was too busy trying to keep Nali from wandering off.

"Brother!" Aría greeted, as she and Fili hugged tightly.

"Have you been good little sister?" The blonde asked happily.

"When am I not?" the other laughed.

"Nali! Just stay put for a second!" Both turned their attention to Kili who was keeping the newcomer from wandering off through force alone, holding onto the crook of her arm. She didn't seem to be pulling very hard though.

"Will you stop wearing out my name?" Nali hissed, yanking her arm out of the archer's grasp.

"Bofur told you to stay here." Kili growled. It was odd to hear Kili talking in common tongue. Since mainly they spoke in Khuzdul.

"Or what?" Nali rolled her eyes irritably. "I'll run into some dangerous beast and get eaten? It's a _city_ in a _mountain_. This place is so safe it makes me sick. I think I'll be fine going for a walk by myself."

"I wouldn't count on it." Aría laughed, walking up to the other dwarrowdam. Her words felt a little awkward. She wasn't as fluent in Common as she would've liked. "This place is impossible to find your way around at first. I'm Aría, by the way, pleasure to meet you." She extended a hand in a friendly greeting. Nali eyed it warily before looking up at the other girl.

"Nali…" she took the offered hand and shook it firmly, both quickly retracting her hand again. "This is Jue." She lifted up her mat of hair to show the monkey, who was still cowering pitifully.

"So I heard." Aría smiled, nodding up at the balcony from which she had watched the exchange. Nali continued to stare at her for a moment.

"My ears and eyes are telling me that you all are friendly…" she started. "But my gut is telling me that I'm being deceived." The other three exchanged confused glances. "So… which one of you is responsible for the potato explosion?"

"Wasn't me." Aría shrugged. Nali looked at Kili and Fili.

"We were with you the entire time." Fili pointed out.

"True…" Nali puzzled. "What did they mean by 'miscreants'?"

"Probably the poor squad." Aría guessed. She didn't like the name, but it was a good distinguishing feature between the two groups of troublemakers.

"The who?" Nali asked.

"A trio of Dwarrowdams, they spend all their time causing trouble for everyone else. Real pains." Aria explained.

"What are their names?" Nali pressed further. But Aría was not able to continue due to Kili's hand covering her mouth. The dark haired prince had noticed the growing spark of mischief in the new dwarrowdam's eyes. He knew that look well when his brother and he came up with their own plans for mischief when they were younger. It wasn't a good way to start a new life.

Aría, however, did not seem to see the glint in the girl's eyes. Fili hadn't either, for both were staring at him in confusion. They had a habit of doing that. Nali was staring at him as well. But her look clearly said 'just who do you think you are mister? Ruining my plans like that'. Kili removed his hand from Aría's mouth.

"Sorry." He mumbled. The silence was awkward and long.

"Well… anyway, Nali, where are you from?" Aría asked conversationally.

"Here, there." Nali shrugged. Aría frowned. "What? I can't say _nowhere_ can I? Because that's not really an answer. But it's the truth really, so I just say 'here and there'."

"What do you mean 'nowhere'?" Aría questioned. Fili and Kili seemed interested as well.

"I mean… Nowhere." Nali repeated after a moment. "My family died when I was very young… I think. I'm pretty sure."

"Oh…" Aría frowned.

"I-I'm sorry." Kili stammered.

"Apology not accepted." Nali set her jaw.

"What?"

"You apologized. I will not accept your apology." The dwarrowdam glared at Kili.

"But I wasn't…"

"That's why it's silly to apologize for no reason." Nali sighed. "Do you feel like a fool now? Have I successfully embarrassed you and made you feel like a fool? UGH!" Everyone jumped in alarm as the lass doubled over, clutching at the back of her neck. "Why you little…" she yanked Jue off from under her hair and glared at him. "The little hairball bit me!" Jue shrieked in protest rocking back and forth on Nali's hand. Everyone burst out laughed while Nali just glowered on the floor. Then, Jue wriggled out of the firm grasp and dashed down the hall. "No! Jue! Help me catch him before he get's his stinking hide lost of something!" And the pursuit began. Up stairs, down stairs, over railings, through legs, almost over several ledges. Until they finally lost sight of him.

"You almost had him!" Fili groaned. "Where'd he go?"

"I think he went that way!" Nali pointed off to down a staircase. Three dwarves rushed past her down the stairs in quick pursuit of the monkey. Nali watched them turn the corner before heading the opposite direction merrily. Jue poked it's tiny face our from underneath a thick tangle of brown hair. "Nice job buddy." Nali grinned, holding up one hand to the monkey, who slapped it in celebration. "Well, after that little adventure, finally we've got free reign." The dwarrowdam sighed contentedly plodding down the hall. "Where shall we go?" She came to a fork in the road, paused, and went left.

"If you're looking for the nearest kitchen, you're going in the wrong direction." Nali cursed loudly and spun around hurriedly to see Kili leaning nonchalantly against the wall from the way she had come.

"Are you _trying_ to give me a fright all the way to Mordor!" Nali hissed, berating herself for not noticing that she had been followed.

"If you did go left," Kili ignored her. "You'd soon find yourself in the library." Nali made a face of disgust before remembering she was angry.

"Why'd you follow me? Have you found Jue yet?" She demanded.

"You mean the critter hiding under your hair?" Kili asked as a meek, ashamed monkey poked out its face. "Yes, I suppose I have."

"…If you think you're being clever, I can tell you that yer not."

"What _is_ the matter with your accent?" Kili interrupted. Nali starred at him blankly. "It keeps changing!"

"It does not." Nali replied stubbornly.

"It does too." Kili snorted.

"Does not!"

"You _just _said: 'If you think _you're_ being clever, I can tell you that _yer_ not.' You changed your accent in the middle of talking!"

"No I didn't."

"You JUST did!"

"You must be hearin' things."

"See! You did it again!" Kili scoffed, shaking his head in amusement.

"…So what if I did?"

"So you admit to it?" Kili cried triumphantly.

"It's a hypothetical question!" Nali denied quickly. "_Hypothetical!_"

"Of course." Kili smirked. Nali just rolled her eyes and walked away. This time she was aware of the pair of heavy boots following her. She was determined to ignore it however, as long as he didn't get in her way. That, however, seemed to be impossible for the dwarven archer.

"Why don't you wear any shoes?" He asked. Nali stared down at her bare feet padding over smooth stone. She looked forward again, still walking.

"Why _do_ you wear shoes?" she replied.

"…I don't know." Kili responded thoughtfully.

"Exactly."

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><p><strong>Well, fourth chapter, and we <em>finally<em> figured out the name of the main character! ... I sometimes wonder why people still read this...**

**Pardon my rambling for a moment,**

**It's been very hard to write this story so far, because there are so many great and interesting characters. I have them all sitting in a cardboard box next to me as I right and their all chanting "Write about me!""No, ME!" and I try to oblige them all and it ain't working so well. But not to fear! I figured out how to deal with it, starting next chapter. At least for awhile. Should be fun :D mwahahahahahahaha**

**Please review if you have a moment!**


	5. Ch5: What have we gotten ourselves into?

**I apologize if the number of characters and all the jumping around is confusing. I've spent a lot of time thinging about them, so their names are well known to me. It makes it hard to judge pacing.**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>"This is getting out of hand." Thorin fumed, surveying the wreckage and the exploded potatoes covering the ground.<p>

"Well what do you expect me to do about it?" Dis huffed, arms crossed in front of her chest.

Thorin glanced at his younger sister. "Since there is no queen,"

"Yet."

"… Yet, it falls to you to keep these dwarrowdams in line. Something that is clearly not happening." Dis stared open mouthed at the King.

"Oh, so you're pinning this on me now?"

"That's not what I said-"

"But it's what you meant." The two raven-haired royalties glared at each other until at last, they broke away to stare at the wreckage before them. Dis sighed loudly. "Aye, I'll see what I can do."

...

The reactions of the 20 dwarrowdams contacted through various means with news of the King's sister's special class were all varied. There were different levels of excitement, resentment, dread. It would have been only 19, but Nora was so close to being of age anyway. So she was allowed to join. Ciri could not possibly fathom _why_ Nora wanted to attend this series of classes, everyday for a month, from breakfast till afternoon. It wasn't even about anything interesting. It was referred to by messengers as How to be a Proper and Respected Dwarrowdam. And it sounded positively boring. Aría, and others who knew the Lady Dis better, knew that the title couldn't be all what it seemed. She just wasn't the sort to sit around and teach people embroidery of anything like that.

But, through one way or another, after breakfast on the next morning, 20 young ladies gathered in the currently unused banquet hall. They were ranged from the highest of nobles to the poorest, and most mischievous, of folk.

And they continued to wait, for no one showed up at the appointed time.

"They're trying to bore us all to death!" someone complained.

"Quiet Jade. Be respectful! I'm sure something came up."

"Oh leave me alone Hayden. I'm allowed to complain."

"Allowed to, yes. But-"

"Aww, poor little beggars. Are you being forced into civility for just a moment?"

"Leave it Faina."

"Sorry for talking again _your majesty_."

"I _said_ don't call me that!"

"I've got things to do." Another voice said from the crowd. "If her Ladyship doesn't have the decency to arrive on time, then there's no reason to waste mine." A few others agreed a moved to the door. The scraping of metal sounded quietly from the door, than the jiggling of someone trying repeatedly to open it.

"Oi! Who locked the door?"

"Couldn't have been any of us. The doors only lock from the outside."

"This was you wasn't it Teella?"

"Don't accuse me! Why would I lock myself in with you idiots?"

"Who are you calling an idiot?"

"I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that was a rhetorical question."

"Now let's settle down, the lot of you!" The tallest dwarrowdam barked over the commotion. Most heads turned to face the tall, muscular, ginger. "Let's just try some of the other doors, shall we?" All six entrances to the large room were locked.

"If we all throw are weight against it, we can knock one of these doors off its hinges!"

"And get scolded? I think not! Let's just call for help. Maybe someone's walking by and can let us out."

"We'd look like a bunch of idiots!"

"Well what do _you_ suggest?" The room fell silent. For the first time since the dwarrowdam's had gathered, none of them spoke a word. And in the silence, they could hear,

"Is someone snoring?" Teella gave Upa an exasperated look before realizing that her dense minion was actually right for once. There was someone snoring. Rather loudly too. Everyone looked around to see just who had fallen asleep. Ciri nudged Nora and pointed next to her. Nora turned her head to see a mass of matted brown hair asleep on the table. Two elbows poked out from underneath. The snoring was definitely coming from underneath. Nora reached over and poked the mat of hair. It hissed at her. She sprang back in shock looking for Ciri for support.

"Did you hear that?" she asked her friend.

"Aye sounded like a wild animal!" Ciri made a face.

The snoring continued.

"Oi!" Faina stomped over to the snoring mass of brown hair. "What you sleeping around here for?" It just went right on snoring. "Wake up you louse!" It was only after a good smack did the hair finally stir. It did more than stir, in fact, it sprang up so quickly, you'd think it were a jack-in-the-box. Everyone jumped back half a step in surprise as the little person looked around in alarm, her tangled brown hair sticking out worse than a porcupine.

"Wait a grain," the formerly snoring person frowned. "There's no orcs about." Several Dwarrowdams exchanged glances. The recently awoken turned to Faina. "What business have you goin' and disturbing my rest and telling me there were orcs about, when there are clearly no orcs about?"

"I never said anything about orcs." Faina sneered.

"Oh, indeed?" The woman stood a little straighter on the bench along the wide table. "And I also suppose flying monkeys don't exist?"

Faina scoffed, sharing a bemused glance with her lackeys. "As a matter of fact, idiot, they don't."

"Then what's this?" The one on the bench grabbed something from under her hair and threw it straight at Faina. Jue screamed in terror as he 'flew' straight towards the dwarrowdam's face. Both monkey and dwarf scrambled madly along the ground in an attempt to untangle themselves from the other. After a moment of a few good laughs at Faina's expense, Jue rushed away again, wrapping himself around one of his owner's arms.

"Nali," Aría pulled the newest dwarrowdam off the bench. "What do you think you're doing? You can't go around assaulting people for no reason."

"Oh, I had a reason alright." Nali growled, yanking her arm out of Aría's grip, then sending a glare out to those who were whispering about how short she was.

"Fine, without a _good_ reason." Aría amended her words.

"Lighten up, will you? I'm sure she deserved it anyway." Nali sighed..

"Well… alright, maybe. But no more, you hear?"

"Blah blah."

"You hear me?"

"_Yes_ Alright! Alright, I won't throw Jue at people anymore." Nali rolled her eyes. Aría sighed tiredly. Now she knew exactly what Kili had meant when he said 'keep an eye on her'. The new dwarrowdam seemed determined to make everyone her enemy.

Thoughts were immediately disbanded, however, as the door across the hall slammed open. In strode Lady Dis herself, three older dwarrowdams in toe. First came Brimli, Wife of Gloin. Next was Tigard, wife of Bombur and mother of eight. Last was Brenvin, mother of Ciri, though much less well known than the other three.

Lady Dis stopped across the table and looked around at the assembled young lasses and smiled.

"How wonderful, you all seemed to have made it. I must apologize for my tardiness, something came up." She surveyed everyone once more. "Which leads us to the first lesson of the day. Never be late no matter the circumstance. I can get away with it, because I'm in charge. But it inconvenienced you all." Many dwarrowdams nodded in annoyance. "The first tool for your tool belt: Never arrive late to an occasion. Which is why I expect all of you to arrive promptly to these lessons. I don't have to tell you all what'll happen if you _are_ late, do I?" The dwarrowdam's shook their heads no. "I can't _hear_ you!"

"No ma'am!" They said loudly.

Dis put her fists on her hips and smiled. "Well good. I'll make Ladies out of you yet!"

The 20 lasses were then succinctly and randomly split into four separate groups and taken to the four far corners of the banquet hall.

Brimli, wife of Gloin, mother of Gimli, looked around at the five dwarrowdams entrusted to her for the lesson. She had two of the worst troublemakers. Teella and Jade of the Poor squad. As well as the new lass, Nali. Brimli had been warned she was a pistol. At least Aría would be there to help her out. A well bred girl that Aría. Turned out splendidly, despite her mother's tragic yet mysterious disappearance. And the last of her little troupe was the scholar, Nora. A quiet lass, not likely to be much trouble. But three out of five, the odds were against her.

"Well," Brimli started, holding her words tightly as a fishermen holds his oars before the wave comes crashing down. "Let's begin with a little activity, shall we? What do you think it means to be a Lady?" Aría smiled to herself before waiting for the others to answer first.

"Dull." Nali groaned. Brimli glanced at the dirt covered, messy haired lass who was so slumped in her seat, she looked like she was trying to become an animal.

"Maybe, but it doesn't have to be." Brimli corrected "Now sit up straight like you have a back bone girl." Nali begrudgingly leaned backwards instead of forwards. "Now, anyone else? What does it mean to be a Lady?"

"Never having any fun." Jade rolled her eyes. "Who wants to be a lady anyway? I'd much rather be out killing Orcs."

"Orcs to kill? Where?" Nali stood on her seat excitedly.

"Sit Down!" Brimli ordered. "There'll be no talk of killing orcs now thank you!" she shot Jade a glare as Nali sulkily dropped back down into her seat. "Now, if we're all quite done messing around. Can anyone list any _positives_ of being a lady?"

"You get to eat anything you want?" Jade hazarded a guess.

"NO."

"You are respected." Aría spoke up.

"Yes! Very good Aría." Brimli sighed in relief. At least someone knew what they were talking about.

"Who wants respect if all you do is sit around being boring?" Teella commented snidely.

"Aye!" Nali nodded in agreement. "We know what we're talking about, now don't we?" She clapped Teella on the shoulder. "The name's Nali." The shorter dwarf extended a hand.

"Teella Broadshoulder." The red braided lass shook the offered hand. "Secret ruler of the mountain and the only one around here with an ounce of intelligence."

"Oi!" Jade snapped. Nora just rolled her eyes quietly. She was doing everything quietly. Maybe to make up for the extreme noise caused by the others.

"Well, it's a pleasure. Maybe you could show me around later? Teach me the ropes-"

"Can we _please_ get back on task?" Brimli sighed.

"Please." Nora whispered under her breath.

"Now, as I was saying, before I was so _rudely_ interrupted," Brimli continued. "Being a proper Lady earns you respect. And with respect, comes power." This got their attention. "Men respect Ladies. We are what keep the kingdom from falling apart. Without us, they'd have all torn each other to pieces. But we cannot do this, if some of us are running around exploding potatoes and causing a ruckus" She glared at Teella.

"That was you?" Nali asked wide-eyed.

"There's no proof." Teella smirked.

"Well then, it truly _is_ a pleasure!"

"Will you just focus for _one_ moment?" Brimli cried in despair.

"I've been focusing for so long already though!" Nali whined. "Isn't that enough for the day?"

"It's only been a few minutes." Aría pointed out.

"How can it be so? It's felt like months!"

"Oh, have a little bit of control, will you?" Nora groaned quietly.

"Well sooorrrry if I'm not the settled type!" Nali sneered. Brimli stomped over and whacked her on the top of the head. "Oi!"

"Tool number two for your tool belt: Always treat people with respect. Do onto others as you would have them do unto you." The older Dwarrowdam walked back to her spot in front of the five.

...

Dis nodded in appreciation. A good group of lasses these five. Though that Upa was a bit of a low wick. As long as she could keep Faina's belittling tendencies at bay, these five could go far.

"I still don't know why Nora and I had to be separated." Ciri grumbled to herself.

"Ah, buck up lass!" the tall, burly ginger laughed, slapping Ciri hard on the back. Alphonse was a skilled fighter, and a friendly lass, but that was mostly it.

"Don't worry about it Ciri." Hayden smiled as well. "I'm sure Nora will be fine. Aría's in her group so you don't have to worry."

"It's not _her_ I'm worried about." Ciri frowned, not wasting the opportunity to glare at Faina.

Faina raised her hands defensively. "I didn't even do anything this time!"

"Yet." Ciri snipped. Faina just rolled her eyes and stuck her nose in the air. Upa snorted in a failed attempt to cover her laugh.

"What are you laughing at buck tooth?"

"Enough Faina." Dis said. Their goal today was mostly to observe the girls and figure out the best way to get points across, but that didn't mean they couldn't step in and keep order when things started going south.

"Why does everyone get so defensive about other people, but no one seems to care when people are giving me a hard time?" Faina sulked.

"Maybe because you're the one causing the problems?" Ciri sneered.

"Let's everyone settle down here, alright?"

"Well, what are we supposed to do now?" Hayden frowned. "The other groups are still talking. You had more planned than just that speech about respect, right?"

"… Of course." Dis replied hesitantly.

"Yes, of course." Hayden smiled apologetically. "That was a stupid question, of course you have more planned."

"Yes, let me just… check on the other groups' progress before we move on… don't fight." And Dis hurried away, desperately thinking of what to do next. Honestly, she had expected the speech and the whole adventure with the locked doors to take much, much longer. But the dwarrowdams got distracted long before they actually figured out an escape plan, so Dis had been forced to move along. Now she had an extra two hours on her hands and no plan. Perfect.

"So, Ciri, how've you been lately?" Hayden asked politely.

"Fine, I guess." Ciri made a face.

"Well that's good to hear. How are things going with Duham?"

Ciri frowned. "Listen, we aren't friends, so don't try to pretend that we are." Ciri then turned away, resting her chin on one hand, and began humming to herself.

"And people say _I'm_ the mean one." Faina scoffed. Hayden just went quite and returned to herself, looking quietly at the ground.

"I'm doing really well if you want to know!" Upa volunteered happily.

Hayden didn't even look at her. "Shut up." She replied tiredly. Upa was one of her sister's friends. And if she was one of her sister's friends, then she didn't care. Hayden had talked to her sister before. Tried to convince her to not get into so much trouble, but Jade didn't listen. She never did.

"Oh, this is dandy." Alphonse rolled her eyes before sitting back in her seat and crossing her muscular arms.

"Amazing, everyone hates each other and for once, it isn't my fault." Faina smirked.

"Shut up Faina." The other four said at the same time.

"Whatever."

"Alright, thank you everyone for your time today!" Dis called from the center of the room. "As the first day, everyone gets to leave early! I expect you all here _on time_ tomorrow! Dismissed." There was a shuffle of movement as people got up to leave.

Nali was first to reach the door. She anxiously opened the door, longing for her freedom back, only to slam it shut again a moment later. Everyone looked at her questioningly.

"Sweet Manwë! It's like the whole mountain's converged on this room!" She panted, holding the door fast shut as if she was afraid something might try to break it down.

"Not the whole mountain." Dis chuckled. "Just all the young men most likely."

"W-why?" Nali asked in horror.

"All nineteen dwarrowdams in the prime of their youth and unmarried are all in one room." The woman said.

"And me." Nora muttered quietly.

"I'd be surprised if there _wasn't_ a crowd outside." Dis strode to the door a clapped Nali on the shoulder. "You're in for a rare challenge today lass! You've been only here for a day, so your new stock!"

"I'm not a cattle!"

"Try telling them that." Teella rolled her eyes as she walked over with Jade and Upa. "Don't worry though, we'll get you out of here unseen."

"Aye, let's all give her a hand, shall we?" Alphonse spoke in a booming voice. The dwarrowdams looked at each other hesitantly.

"Oh come on." Jade shouted. "It won't be hard you louts. We'll just all walk out at once. Nali will be lost in the crowd. Simple as that."

"This is humiliating." Nali whispered from the center of the small army of girls.

"Just be quite and keep your head down." Teella whispered from next to her. "You're the shortest anyway. It's a full proof plan."

"Just hurry up." The shorter girl growled.

The whole group was silent as they headed out. The crowd that had been waiting outside separated as the steel faced women walked proudly forward. Dis and the other three dwarrowdam teachers watched from the doorway, smiling.

"We'll make leaders out of them yet." Dis nodded.

When the small group of twenty finally made it out of the crowd, Nali immediately squirmed her way out of the middle and dashed away down the hall, Jue close at her heels. There were some shouts from behind along the lines of 'I think I saw her' 'Who was that running?' 'Was that a rat?' And other such confused comments.

The Dwarrowdams quickly vacated, all too happy to return to their own lives. Aría went to go find Nali before the she-dwarf got herself lost. Aría instead ran into Kili.

"Aría, I was just about to go pick you and Nali up from the class. I thought you might have trouble with some unwanted attention." Aría stared at Kili for a moment.

"Are you sure that's the _only_ reason you were coming?" she asked. Kili just shrugged.

"Where is Nali anyway?" he asked looking around.

"She slipped away the first chance she got." Aría frowned. "She's so hard to keep tabs on, but it's not like we can just let her have the run of the place. She was getting awfully chummy with Teella."

"Nothing wrong with a little trouble." Kili shrugged.

Aría shot the lad an incredulous look. "Kili, she destroyed our entire supply of potatoes!"

"So she takes things a bit too far." The dark haired prince admitted. "Oh, and Fili's looking for you. He's in the Hall."

"Alright, I'll head over." Aría sighed. "But try and find Nali for me, alright? Bofur asked me to keep tabs on her since he's so busy. But it's just so hard!"

"I'll take care of it." Kili nodded. "Now, you better head over, he seemed very excited."

"I promised to spar with him." Aría rolled her eyes. "He's been begging me constantly about so I agreed just to shut him up."

"Well, have fun with that!" Kili smirked before heading off. He had a hunch of where he might find the Bearded Lady.

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><p><strong>I'm a little disappointed with the way this chapter turned out :\<strong>

**Any way, please review and let me know what YOU would like to read about! I need some suggestions!**


	6. Ch6: Double, Trouble, and talking alot

**No class this chapter. It's the second half of the day. Please enjoy!**

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><p>It was quiet as the two young women entered the empty house. It was dark, and cold, and bare. Save for the simple table, two chairs, and a bed. There was a second blanket spread out on the floor beside it.<p>

One of the women moved over to the table and lit the one candle in the house. The wick was half gone and the tiny came flickered pathetically as it was moved closer to the fire.

"Look, I'm sorry about that, alright?" The other young woman huffed. "I didn't mean to snap at you like that."

"Well obviously, I must have been acting completely unreasonable for you to speak so harshly." The first moved to light the hearth.

"No, Hayden… don't be like that."

"Well what do you expect me to do Jade?" Hayden turned to her younger sister in distress. "Well? What should I do?" Jade just frowned uncomfortably, not answering her older sister's question. "Everyone hates us! All because you _insist_ on running around with that good for nothing girl!"

"She's not a good for nothing…" Jade mumbled.

"I'm sorry for saying such a thing," Hayden shook her head. "But really, what possibly makes you think that those tricks and schemes of hers are a good idea?" Jade went silent again. "We're on our own now, and we can't afford to be limiting our options with bad decisions!"

"It's not that _simple_…" Jade tried again.

"Isn't it?" Hayden interrupted sadly. "Why do you do it Jade?"

"Because… I don't know! It lets me escape for a moment! Have fun for once! You can't blame me for wanting to forget everything once in awhile!" The younger cried, huffing and turning away.

"No…" Hayden looked down at the still unburnt logs. "…I can't blame you for that. But we don't live in a world where we can live that way. We must be strong. We must remember."

"But it's so draining." Jade fingered the doorway. "I feel like I've remembered long enough. But I can't move on."

"Moving on and forgetting are two different things." The elder struck a match.

"I know…" Jade whispered. "I just need some time to work through this myself…" She hurried out the door. "I'm sorry."

...

Aría strode into the Hall. The smell of sweat and dirt hit like a wave with the warm air of the training grounds. Her battle-axe was hefted on her shoulder and her sword strapped to her hip. This was going to be fun.

"Aría! Over here!" The dwarrowdam looked over to see Fili waving her over from a section of the sanded ground. A few other pairs sparred in the Hall at the moment. One of them Aría recognized as Alphonse. She was sparring heatedly with her cousin, Gimli.

"Fili!" Aría smiled. "We finally got around to it."

"Once you _finally_ got the nerve to actually show up." Fili smirked.

"Oi! If I remember correctly, sir prince, _you_ canceled it last time due to 'unexpected complications'." Aría rolled her eyes.

"There was a meeting!" Fili defended himself.

"Of course there was. Shall we get to it?" Aría tossed her battle-axe to the side and whipped out her sword, it gleamed in the torchlight that illuminated the whole room.

"Whenever your ready." Fili withdrew his twin swords, twirling them expertly.

And they charged.

A good couple minutes later, they were both sitting, backs against the wall, and panting horribly.

"You've gotten better." Fili panted.

"I've always been good." Aría wheezed. "You got worse."

"Could be both." The prince agreed.

"Could be neither." The dwarrowdam groaned. "We're both horribly out of shape."

"Aye." Fili nodded.

"So, how was the envoy trip?" Aría asked conversationally.

"It was good." Fili reported. "A much needed break."

"I wish I could have come with you two." Aría frowned.

Fili laughed "Aye, but we'd need more than an envoy if you were coming. You know that."

"I know, I know." The dwarrowdam rolled her eyes. "But I could just sneak out or something. This mountain can get so _boring_."

"Well, it hasn't been boring lately, has it?" Fili asked.

"Try tiring." Aría gave Fili a look. "When I agreed to keep and eye on Nali, I didn't realize what I was getting myself into."

Fili laughed again. "Well, you've had plenty of practice keeping tabs on Kili and I, I'm sure you'll do fine."

"You have such faith in me." Aría rolled her eyes.

"Well, that's the job of an older brother, isn't it?" Fili grinned.

"True enough. Well, _brother_ I better be off. To see if Kili has found the little miscreant yet." Aría sighed, standing and dusting herself off.

"You lost her?" Fili raised an eyebrow, standing as well.

"Kili said, he could find her, I don't see how, it's a big mountain, but hey, I have faith in him." Aría winked.

"Well, I'll leave you to that. I'd better be going as well." Fili yanked his blades out of the sand.

"Off to see Hayden?" Aría asked, fetching her own weapons. Fili froze in place.

"Why would you say that?" He asked, very reserved.

Aría looked at him innocently. "Don't you fancy her? Am I mistaken?" Fili remained silent before sheathing his weapons and walking away. "I'm _not_ mistaken." Aría grinned to herself before leaving as well to go find Kili and Nali.

...

Teella peeked over the railing cautiously, an evil grin spreading across her face as her eyes came to lay upon her target. Perfect. The top of her head disappeared again behind the stone ledge as she crouched low and turned to her three minions.

"Upa, you got that slop like I ask?" The red head asked directly. The wide-eyed, grinning dwarrowdam nodded, disappearing to lug it up from the bottom of the stairs where she left it.

"Jade, I need you to… Jade!" The pretty dwarrowdam looked up, lost in thought. "What's up with you today?" Teella asked in disgust. "Don't act so thoughtful, it's not fitting."

Jade scowled. "Sorry for thinking sometimes."

"_I'm _the one that does the thinking around here." Teella rolled her eyes. "Not you. Now go and get as many guards as you can. Word of this will spread throughout the mountain in no time." Jade sighed and disappeared down the stairs as, Upa came up with a bucket full of slop.

Teella looked over the edge to make sure the targets were still there.

"What's the plan again?" Nali asked in confusion.

"I didn't _tell_ you the plan, because then it won't be as much fun for you to watch!" Teella groaned as Nali peeked over the edge next to her. "Get down! You'll get spotted." She shoved the dwarrowdam out of sight again.

"I know what I'm doing!" Nali snapped. "Besides, you really think hair that bright'll stay hidden?" Teella gritted her teeth in frustration before ducking down again and turning to Nali.

"I _also_ know what I'm doing. And I've got the plan, so I get to give the orders. Got it?"

"So, if I come up with a plan, I get to give the orders?" Nali smirked.

"No." Teella turned to look over the ledge again.

"But you just-"

"Upa, the slop." Teella ignored her. "You and Nali get ready to tip it over on my mark." The two others raised the bucket to the edge. "3… 2… 1…" She grinned widely. "DROP!"

The slop made a squelching noise as it slipped from the bucket, then a sick splatting noise as it landed squarely on the target, spraying over those nearby as well.

"Ew…" someone from below gasped in horror.

All three looked over the edge to see Faina and her posse covered in the brownish green goop. And another person who they had apparently been flirting with.

"Is that Kili?" Nali whispered ever so quietly. Teella shushed her as a few guards came around the corner, as Jade came sneaking back up the stairs to watch.

The guards stared in shock at the five slop-covered dwarves. Everyone's faces were hysterical. But Faina, was covered almost completely as she stood, dripping slop. Slowly, she looked up to see four faces disappear over the railing.

"TEELLA!" And they were off like an arrow.

"Tell me again," Jade panted from besides Teella. "Why you had me go… fetch a bunch of guards… so that they would… just end up… chasing us?"

"I hadn't… thought about… that!" Teella gasped as they dashed through the stone halls.

"Next time…" Upa wheezed. "Please do!"

"Here!" Nali called from the front. "We can go this way! There's a guard entrance over here, we can loose them outside!" The others did not follow her down the hallway, but stopped breathless for a moment.

"We can't…" Jade started. "Go outside... not allowed."

"What do you mean, not allowed?" Nali made a face, walking back to the others in confusion.

"Too dangerous…" Jade explained. "Only go out with an envoy… in case of danger…"

"You're pulling my leg." Nali laughed. "I've seen dwarves out by themselves before."

"Not female dwarves." Teella panted.

"Well, now that you mention it," the shortest dwarrowdam frowned.

"Since there are so few of us, they can't afford accidents." Jade straightened, regaining her breath for the most part.

"They're coming…" Upa wheezed like a dying dog.

"Let's go!" Teella took off again down the halls, the others right behind her. Nali kept pace beside her.

"But you don't follow that rule, do you?" She asked. "I mean, you go outside, right?" Teella didn't answer. "Right?"

"No!" Teella snapped, out of breath again.

"How is that even possible?" Nali made a face. "I'd die if I couldn't go outside." She paused as a realization struck her, the others skidded to a stop and looked back at her.

"What are you doing?" Jade cried. "We've got to keep moving!"

"I haven't been outside in _two whole days_!" Nali stammered. "How is that even possible? And I hadn't even noticed…"

"Can't you do this later?" Jade pleaded as footsteps approached.

"The trees, the grass, the birds and beasts…" Nali continued to mumble. The footsteps drew nearer.

"Well, you're on your own!" Teella shouted and took off again. The three just rounded the corner and disappeared from sight when half a dozen guards rushed in from the way they had come, nearly knocking down Nali in the process.

"The new lass." One of the guards recognized as they all untangled themselves.

"Two Whole Days." She replied, wide eyed.

"What?"

"I've not been outside in Two Whole Days." The guards glanced at one another.

"Well… lassie, we're going to have to ask you to come with us." One of the guards said.

"What? Why?"

"Someone has lodged a… complaint." He answered.

"A complaint about what?" Nali frowned. "My hygiene?"

"Just… come with us please." Two guards escorted Nali back the way they had come while the other four continued the pursuit.

It really was a comical sight, four slop covered dwarrowdams, fuming and glaring angrily. Unfortunately, it was _her_ they were glaring at.

"Teella did this! Didn't she?" Faina hissed angrily.

"… Maybeeee." Nali replied, having to look up a little to stare at her eyes.

"I know it was her! Don't bother denying it!" Faina continued to rant.

"If you knew, then why did you ask in the first place?" Nali shrugged. Faina just glared at her. Her three lackeys copied the action. "Besides, what does it matter who did it? It happened anyway, didn't it?"

"I want to know, so I can get even." The taller dwarrowdam snapped.

"Ah, please refrain from doing anything rash ma'am." One of the guards asked politely.

"I'll do what I like!" Faina snapped. "That is all, you may leave." The guards nodded and left. Nali could hear them burst into laughter as soon as they were out of sight.

"Weren't there five if you though?" Nali said, counting the slop-covered dwarves remaining.

"If your referring to the young prince, he left to go get washed up. After this foul paste was so rudely dropped on us." Faina sniffed.

"But what was he doing with you lot?" Nali made a face.

"Talking." The other answered. "We're allowed to do that you know."

"I suppose." Nali frowned.

"Now, I will let you off this once with a warning." Faina said proudly. "Since you _are_ new and haven't truly found who you can really trust around here. But cross me again, and I will have my revenge."

Nali smirked. "Right then. Better watch myself from now on, hadn't I?" And she turned on her heel and strode away. Faina watched her leave, a sense of confusion remaining. The girl seemed thoroughly scatterbrained, but at the same time, aware of almost everything going on in the room. She was rather a plain sight though. And covered in dirt. Faina sniffed.

"Mahal, this goop stinks!"

...

Nora paced back and forth.

Ciri watched.

Klos gnawed on his bone noisily.

"So?" Ciri spoke at last.

"So what?" Nora did not break her pace.

"What are you thinking?" Ciri prompted again.

"Who says I'm thinking anything?" Nora still did not look at anything but her feet.

"You've been pacing like that for almost an hour." Ciri sighed. "Either you're thinking about something or you have a grudge against that part of the floor and you're planning on wearing it down." She chuckled at the thought. "So my guess is, your thinking about something. What is it?"

"Nothing."

"Don't even try that." Ciri berated her friend. Klos began to follow Nora around, bone in his mouth.

"Why is there a class being held?" Nora asked aloud suddenly.

"What?"

"The class." Nora repeated. "For the dwarrowdams. Why is it being held? What's the point? Why is everyone being forced to go?"

"_That's_ what you've been thinking about?" Ciri balked.

"She must have a plan! Lady Dis, I mean. She must have some big scheme that this is all preparation for. But what?"

"Maybe she's setting us all up with good looking, kind, wealthy lads to become our husbands, so she's making sure we're in shape first?" Ciri guessed happily.

"You wish." Nora rolled her eyes.

"Well excuse me! But not _everyone_ finds the love of their life who happens to be a certain butcher before their even of age."

"I _don't_ love him!" Nora snapped.

"_Nora and Hollard sitting in a tree_" Ciri started singing.

"Shut up!" Nora shouted, tackling her friend to the floor. Klos jumped on both of them.

"_First comes love! Then comes mar-_" Nora practically strangled her.

"You are so annoying." Nora huffed, picking herself up again. Klos wagged him tail happily.

"You weigh more than an Oliphant!" Ciri groaned from the floor.

"Like you're as light as a feather." Nora rolled her eyes.

"I am!" Ciri nodded. Nora sighed and plopped down next to her friend.

"Why did I agree to these classes?" She complained. "Think of all that time that I could be reading instead!"

"Or crocheting!" Ciri added.

"Or writing!"

"Or eating!"

"Or avoiding Teella and Faina!"

"Here here!"

"Well… it's too late to back out now."

* * *

><p><strong>Please, if you've any ideas let me know! And, as a note, updates might be sowing down due to lack of inspiration. I don't want to write more chapters until I can make it good again.<strong>

**Review if you want. It's always helpful!**


	7. Ch7: Adventure is right down the Hall

**Next chapter! This chapter was inspired by Dragon flam, Thanks so much!**

**I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

><p>Nora strolled passively through the corridor on the way to the library. Unlike usual, the dwarrowdam was not excited to be reading. After spending the whole morning in class learning about famous and successful dwarrowdams, Nora was not looking forward to sitting around any more. But there wasn't anything else to do. It was the only place to avoid attention. But she had been sitting around so long that morning already. Why did Ciri have to be busy?<p>

"Split up!" Someone shouted from nearby. Nora looked around in confusion. "Nali, Upa, you go that way!"

"But that's a dead end!" another voice replied angrily.

"It's my idea, I'm in charge!" A cry of frustration was the response and two figures came hurtling around the corner, running straight into Nora. All three dwarrowdams crashed to the floor in a tangle of limbs.

Nali's head shot up first, her mass of tangled hair sticking up even more than usual and a big smear of ashes across the side of her nose. And everywhere else for that matter. Upa's head popped up next. She was also covered in soot. Nora groaned from the floor before pushing the other two off of her and getting to her feet, getting caught only momentarily on her long purple sleeve.

"Oh! I know you!" Nali cried in recognition upon seeing Nora's face.

"Congratulations. We've only spent, what, the entire morning sitting next to each other?" It had been a very long morning.

"That's it!" Nali grinned. "I was having trouble placing you for a moment there."

"Nali, we are in a bit of a rush here." Upa reminded the other girl, hurrying down the corridor.

"Right, right." Nali waved her away. The sound of urgent footsteps sounded from behind them.

"Well I'm leaving!" Upa started away.

"I think I'll join you." Nali nodded, dragging Nora's hand after her.

"Oi! What do you think you're doing?" Nora exclaimed.

"No time to explain! Just run!"

"Run… where?" the scholar panted, already out of breath.

"Nali! There you are!"

"Aría? No time to chat! Gotta run!"

"Wait!" Aría started running alongside them to keep up. "Nali, did Teella drag you into trouble _again_?"

"No." Nali said.

"Yes." Upa said at the same time.

"I thought you agreed to stop getting into trouble!"

"Well she said this time we wouldn't get caught!"

"And you believed her?"

Nali pouted in silence as the four dwarrowdams continued to run. Their footsteps thundered off the stone as they ran further and further through the halls. At last, they stopped.

"How come… there's no… no one… around?" Upa panted horribly.

"You're very out of shape." Nali observed neutrally.

"Shut up." Was Upa's response. Nali was distracted however, as Nora collapsed to her knees, barely breathing.

"…You came with us?" Nali asked in confusion. Nora looked up in frustration. _You dragged me here!_ But she was too busy trying to regain her breath.

"We must be in one of the older sections of the mountain." Aría answered Upa's question. "One that people don't travel through very much."

"I wonder why not…" Upa voiced absently as she watched Nali release Nora's hand and wander off.

"Well there's nothing back here." Aría sighed. "Just a bunch of empty halls and rooms. They didn't even bother fixing it up after… the dragon left. There's no point. Almost no one comes back here any more… Nali, where are you going?" the dwarrowdam asked angrily.

"There's… a hole."

Everyone turned to look down one of the stone halls where the dwarrowdam had wandered. "What?" Aría asked.

"A hole, in the wall." Nali said, her voice sounding a little muffled. "It's big enough to squeeze through."

"Squeeze through to where?" Silence answered. "Nali?" Aría hurried down the hall. Upa sighed and pulled Nora too her feet to follow. The three dwarrowdams stopped before the waist high crack and bent down, peering through the opening.

Inside was a larger cavern, stretching into the darkness. It was more in the appearance of a tunnel, raw minerals glinting in the dark. Nali was standing at her full height, spinning around the rough cavern in wonder.

"Come out of there." Aría hissed. "That's a natural cavern."

"So?" Nali shrugged, only sparing a glance at the three heads peering in from the other side.

"It's not been properly supported." The other stressed. "The whole thing could collapse."

"I'll just be careful then." Nali replied, attention already wandering off.

"_Nali_." Aría hissed again as the shorter dwarrowdam padded further away.

"It stretches on forever…" Nali reported to the others.

"Great! Good to know. Now come on!"

"What's going on?" those outside jumped and spun to see Teella and Jade strolling casually over to them.

"Teella!" Upa beamed, rushing over. "You managed to escape!"

"Wasn't hard. What are you all crowding about the wall for?" The red haired lass asked again.

"Nali found a hidden tunnel!" Upa beamed, indicating the crack. Nora and Aría exchanged a worried glance.

"I didn't know there were any around here." Jade mused, coming over to look inside. Teella pushed past her and squeezed through the opening into the tunnel, looking around casually.

"What are you doing here?" Nali asked, traces of venom in her voice.

"Dodging trouble, same as you." Teella replied. "Guess it wasn't a dead end after all, now was it?" Nali scowled. Teella called back out the tunnel. "Come on, Jade, Upa! Let's go!" The two came at the beckon, both squeezing in. Jade got stuck only temporarily by the hips.

"Nali, come out of there now!" Aría hissed through the small group forming in the tunnel.

"No…" Nali thought for a moment. "Now just wait a moment here." She turned to Teella. "_I_ had the idea to explore this tunnel first. Which means _I'm_ in charge of this expedition." Teella glared at her bitterly.

"Nali, if you don't come out of there right now, I'll…" Aría struggled for a threat that would really grab the dwarrowdam's attention.

"Oh come on already." Nali spoke to Aría. "You know you want to come too!"

"What?" the older dwarrowdam frowned. "No I don't I-"

"Course you do." Nali rolled her eyes. "Now hurry up, you can fit. You might have to duck a little, but it should be fine." Aría stared at the other reproachfully for a moment before sighing and crouching down to squeeze through the crack.

"What?" Teella cried in alarm. "We are _not_ letting the princess come with us!"

"I'm not a princess." Aría growled. Teella ignored her.

Nali turned to the red head confidently. "My idea, my rules. If you don't like it then find your own tunnel." Then she looked out to see Nora trying to wander off. "Oi! You too lass!"

Nora jumped in surprise. "What? Me? N-no."

"Oh come on." Nali rolled her eyes. "Would you really want to go read books instead of going on an _actual_ adventure?" Nora stared blankly, considering the statement for a moment. Finally, she gulped and walked over. But the girl stopped right before the crack.

"Is this really safe?" She asked hesitantly.

Nali grinned widely. "Not one bit."

...

Fili stepped cautiously out of the hallway, looking left and right to check if there was anyone around. Or any one specific person around. There only seemed to be the common passerby, all too interested in their own affair to do more than nod in passing to the blonde prince. None of them questioned why the prince was in such a poor part of the mountain. He was simply there. And they needed to be somewhere else. That's why they were walking in the first place.

A sigh of relief escaped Fili's lips as his fingers tightened further around the small package in his hand.

"Fili?" the owner of the name jumped in alarm and spun around quickly.

"Kili! What are you doing around here?" The elder asked in a scolding manner.

"I could ask you the same thing." Kili frowned. "What's that in your hand?"

"None of your business." Fili mumbled grumpily, hoping his little brother for once would just go away. Kili looked at his brother in confusion for a moment before a devious grin crept onto his face.

Fili didn't like that face. "It's not what you thin-"

"It looks like a gifffttttttt." Kili said in a taunting sing songy way.

"It isn't!"

"For some one that _you_, dear brother, fancy!" The dark haired prince continued trying to catch a glimpse of the package.

"It's not!"

"Which could only mean one thing!" Kili said, faking twice and grabbing for the small package. But Fili had already grabbed his arm and twisted it behind him, pinning it to his back. "Alright, alright!" The younger hissed in pain. "I take it back, let go." Fili sighed and released his brother with a jerk, stuffing the package into his pocket. Kili rolled his arm in an attempt to relieve some of the soreness.

"So it is for Hayden!" He deduced, continuing to rub his shoulder as he grinned at his brother.

"What? Who said anything about Hayden?" Fili asked immediately.

Kili smirked. "You know I can always tell when you're lying."

Fili sighed. "Breathe a word of this to _anyone_ and I'll bury you alive." Kili just laughed. "I'm serious!" Fili hissed. "Not even Aría!"

"Why not?" the younger asked. "What are you being all secretive for?"

"None of your business." Fili said, making sure the coast was clear. As soon as he had, the prince strolled over to the front of a door, placed the package in front of it, turned around, and walked past Kili back the way they had come. The darker haired followed.

"So why are _you_ around here?" Fili asked in an attempt to change to subject.

"Looking for Aría and Nali. I can't find them anywhere." The eldest prince glanced over his shoulder at the younger, one eyebrow raised. "What?"

"What _do_ you do the first half of the day? It seems like all you do is flirt." Fili scoffed.

"I don't _flirt_ with Aría and Nali." Kili scowled.

"Sure."

"I don't!"

"You flirt with Faina and her lackeys though." Fili pointed out.

"She doesn't have 'lackeys' they're her friends." Kili argued.

"Yes, I'm sure they're paid to tell people that yes." Fili rolled his eyes.

Kili looked at him in disgusted disbelief. "Is that what you think?" He asked. "Do you really think just because she's rich she can't have actual friends? She has to buy them all off? What does that say about us then? Is Aría a 'fake friend' too?"

"No!" Fili stopped, turning to Kili angrily. "Kili, have you seen the lass? She struts around like she owns the mountain!" Kili just rolled his eyes. "How did we even get on this conversation anyway? This is pointless."

"Aye." Kili frowned.

The two walked in silence for a while before Kili spoke up again.

"Did you hear?" he asked. "Gimli and Dwalin finally went at it in the Hall."

"Really?" Fili said. "How'd that go?"

"Alphonse and Triune had to go in and break them up when they started biting each other."

"Biting?" Fili looked at his brother.

"They'd both broken all their weapons and their knuckles were bleeding too badly. I heard they were too dizzy to head butt each other any more as well." Kili laughed.

"Well then…" Fili chuckled. "I guess it's true. We never will find out which of them is the stronger warrior."

"I guess so..."

...

The tunnel went deep, winding further and further down into the earth. The six dwarrowdams maneuvered through it at first with ease. But the way became harder when the tunnel decided to randomly drop towards the ground or turn upwards with a sheer cliff. All the while, Aría continued to suggest that they turn around. But Nali would hear none of it.

"There's something at the end of this, I can feel it." She whispered in the dark.

Nora slowed the group down quite a bit. She was completely unused to it and not exactly dressed for the occasion. Most of the others were in pants, or shirts that allowed more maneuverability for things like running, or in this case, climbing. Jade made it her personal responsibility to help Nora along, though she clearly did not want to.

"What if it just leads to a dead end?" Teella asked tiredly. "We've gone far enough, there's nothing here."

"For once, she and I are in agreement." Aría sighed. "Come on, Nali. Let's head back."

"I'm getting hungry." Upa complained. "Any of you brought something to eat?" None of them had.

"We're getting close to the end! I can tell." Nali said determinedly from the front of the group.

"Technically," Nora panted from the back. "There's no way to tell for sure. You just have a feeling that could be completely inaccurate."

"Never tell me the odds!" Nali cheered.

"I wasn't telling you the odds. I was just saying…"

What felt to be a long time later, they were still walking. The terrain had gotten much smaller and everyone had to stoop, not just Aría. Their shoulders scraped the stone as they walked, brushing loose old stone and dust. Nothing changed but the direction. Up or down, left or right. It all looked the same.

So when they saw a large, round boulder at the side of the path, it was pointed out to make sure everyone saw it. Nora sat down to rest on it even. And they moved on.

It all looked the same still. Tunnel and more tunnel they climbed through.

"It's all so similar!" Upa huffed. "We could be going and circles and we'd never even notice!"

"It's not _that_ similar." Nali rolled her eyes. "Look, that boulder up there is a change. That…very smooth…"

"…round boulder." Teella finished for her. "Congratulations airhead, you've gotten us walking in circles."

"But how?" Jade frowned. "There's only been one path to follow."

"We must have missed a side passage somewhere." Aría suggested. "Keep going Nali. Everyone, keep your eyes peeled for a side passage. It must be around here somewhere."

They climbed for ages through the darkness without finding anything. Once again, they came upon the round boulder.

"We're trapped." Upa gasped.

"No we're not." Aría said calmly. "We got in somehow, which means we can get out somehow."

"We're going to _die_ down here!" Upa started panicking.

Jade elbowed her in the side. "You know, that's really not helping."

Nali grabbed her head, spinning around slowly as if trying to figure out what to do. At last, she turned to Teella. "What do we do?" she asked.

"This is your idea." Teella shrugged. "You're in charge here."

"This _isn't_ the time for that." Aría frowned.

"Well all we have is time, right?" Teella smirked. "Since you've gotten us so wonderfully lost."

"Teella, please." Jade begged, trying to calm Upa at the same time.

Then Nora spoke up for practically the first time since entering the tunnel. "If we had a fire, we might be able to follow the smoke out." Everyone turned to look at her.

"What?"

"Smoke, it finds it's way outside. So if we had a fire, we could follow it's smoke out of the tunnels."

"But we'd need a fire for that, now wouldn't we?" Teella smiled patronizingly.

"Well, since _you_ aren't giving any suggestions."

"Where's Jue?"

"I would give suggestions, but it's not my idea."

"Will you get over that already? You've proven your point!"

"No really, Jue's gone."

"Oh, but I don't think I have." Teella frowned. "You all don't seem to respect the fact that _I'm _the one who knows what she's doing. I'm the one with any sense! I would have noticed when we go down a cliff that drops us into a endless circle."

"What?"

"Jue's missing!"

"NO ONE CARES!" the sound bounced around the cavern, causing in to tremble until Jade's voice disappeared at last. A few clouds of dust came down, but nothing more. The tunnel seemed to stabilize. Everyone let out a collective sigh of relief.

"Sorry." Jade whispered.

"It's fine." Aría said softly. "But let's be very careful from now on. I don't think it'll take another shock like that." The others nodded in agreement.

"Now, Teella." Aría turned to the red head. "What were you saying, and please don't be difficult, we may not have a lot of time."

"About a little ways back," Teella started in a calm, low voice. "There is a pathway in the ceiling. We dropped through it awhile back but you all seem to have forgotten."

"Do you remember where exactly it's at?" Aría asked, trying to stay as calm as possible.

"Yes."

"Lead the way then." The dwarrowdams moved softly through the tunnel, as if fearing that if they breathed too loudly, they'd set the tunnel off. Nali continued to look over her shoulder however, hoping to catch a glimpse of a tiny golden monkey bounding up to her.

"Here it is." Teella announced quietly in the silence. Everyone looked up. There was a hole there in the center of the low ceiling.

"We'll need to use each other to get up." Jade said. "I'll go up first so I can help from up top. Aría, you help them down here." Slowly, Jade was hoisted up and she climbed out, poking her head down. "Nora next." Nora was pulled up, then Teella and Upa.

"You next." Aría motioned for Nali.

"No, you go first." The shorter said, still looking around for any sign of her monkey friend.

"Nali…"

"Go on. I'll be up right after you."

Resigning, Aría jumped, grabbing the outstretched hands that pulled her up out of the pit. She turned around almost immediately and motioned for Nali. "You next."

Nali sighed and nodded sadly. She jumped for the others hands and they started to pull her up. But just at that moment, a sound reached her ears.

"Jue?" She let go immediately, slipping out of the other's hands. She landed on the ground with a heavy thud before hurrying forward. Jue leapt into her arms happy to be reunited at last. Then a deadly sounding rumble ripped through the stone. Everyone froze.

"Nali!" Aría cried as the sound of falling stone began to echo through the tunnel. Jue hung to the dwarf's neck tightly as Nali dashed back towards the exit. Larger boulders began falling, forcing Nali to dodge as she hurried towards the outstretched hands. The air was filling quickly as she jumped. The hands caught her and pulled. But they couldn't pull any further.

"It's no good!" Jade hissed, seeing the large amount of rock covering Nali's lower half. "She's stuck!"

"No, we can do this!" Aría insisted. "Pull!" Nali gritted her teeth as the other five strained on her arms. She didn't budge. The stone rumbled again dangerously as more clouds of dust fell from the ceiling.

"Go!" She told the others.

"We're _not_ leaving you." Aría snapped.

"Well it's no good all of you getting buried now is it?" Nali snapped back. "Hurry and get some help! There nothing you lot can do!"

"Right." Jade nodded, pulling Nora and Upa away up the tunnel. Teella was right on their heels.

"I'm _not_ leaving you alone." Aría hissed.

"You have to! I'd never forgive myself if you all got killed cause of me! Now get out of here! And take Jue with you!" She handed over the trembling monkey. Aría took the tiny thing, staring at Nali in horror as the earth began trembling more. "GO!" And she shot off after the others, leaving Nali under the falling dust and stone.

The single dwarrowdam gulped as the earth trembled more. She tried a few times to pull herself out, but the rock wouldn't budge.

_Well_, she thought to herself. _You said you wanted an adventure_. A rock struck her on the temple and all went black.

* * *

><p><strong>...Well. This should be fun to write myself out of.<strong>

**If you liked it please review! If you didn't like it, review anyway! They really help so so much. And feel free to tell people about this too! I'm very bad at publicizing.**


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